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Some people think that the government should invest in teaching science rather than in other subjects for a country development and progress. What extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the government should invest in teaching science rather than in other subjects for a country development and progress. What extent p2n0
Nowadays, technology is evolving day by day with enormous speed, all is due to advancement in science. A bunch of people propose that the government should provide more fund in learning of science field rather than other subjects. I think this situation has both it's aspects positive as well as negative. From last decade, the overall development in the field of science is skyrocketed. All the invention and instruments are boon of it. For instance, modern people have reached to the MARS and landed on MOON, which is biggest success of technology, all is the results of scientific progress. If government will provide more money to learn it than youth will be more creative and even provide unbelievable inventions which can help the human being and will make their lives easier. Apart from it, nowadays, global warming is increasing and climate change, environmental pollution are bigger threat to human existency. By developing the e- vehicle and using natural resources we can make our surroundings clean and can overcome the problem of climate crisis and pollution. Moreover if the offsprings will be well educated from early age about the technology then their mind will be more creative in future and will definitely made progress in this area. Though science has its own value but that doesn't mean that other subjects are not important. For instance science is handicapped without the mathematics, as they both are sides of one coin. Also to make children learn science will not make them intrest in other subjects if the pupils is interested in other subjects then they will not focus on it and this will be the waste of money In my prospective, other subjects are also as important as science. As they develop inner ability and creativity of children. History can teach them about their ancient culture and lifestyles of their ancestors and they can value their tradition from it, for instance. Subjects like art can enhance their creativity and imagination so it is way better for children to make them choose which subjects they want to learn. In conclusion, without science the world will become handicapped but that doesn't mean other subjects are not important. I think every subjects have their equal importance.
Nowadays, technology is evolving day by day with enormous speed, all is due to advancement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
. A bunch of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
propose that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should provide more fund in learning of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
field
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this situation has both it's aspects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
.

From last decade, the
overall
development in the field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
is skyrocketed
. All the invention and instruments are boon of it.
For instance
, modern
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have reached to the MARS and landed on MOON, which is
A determiner is probably missing here: "the biggest".
biggest
success of technology, all is the results of scientific progress. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
Consider removing 'will'. (Usually, 'will' does not occur in a conditional clause, unless in the sense 'want to' or 'be willing to'.)
will provide
more money to learn it than youth will be more creative and even provide unbelievable inventions which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the human being and will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
easier.

Apart from it, nowadays, global warming is increasing and climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
, environmental pollution are bigger threat to human
Possible spelling mistake found.
existency
. By developing the e- vehicle and using natural resources we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
our surroundings clean and can overcome the problem of climate crisis and pollution.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
if the
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
will be
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well educated
from early age about the technology then their mind will be more creative in future and will definitely
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "make"
made
progress in this area.

Though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
value
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
that doesn't mean that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
For instance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
is handicapped
without the mathematics, as they both are sides of one coin.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
children learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
will not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them
Possible spelling mistake found.
intrest
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
if the pupils
is interested
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
then they will not focus on it and this will be the waste of money

In my prospective,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are
also
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
. As they develop inner ability and creativity of children. History can teach them about their ancient culture and lifestyles of their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
ancestors and
they can value their tradition from it,
for instance
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Subjects
like art can enhance their creativity and imagination
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is way better for children to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them choose which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
they want to learn.

In conclusion
, without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
the world will become handicapped
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
that doesn't mean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "subject"?
subjects
have their equal importance.
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IELTS essay Some people think that the government should invest in teaching science rather than in other subjects for a country development and progress. What extent

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
370 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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