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Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere.

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere. VBr6K
Nowadays Art Is Consider Very Significant In All Over The World. Government is Investing Huge Amount On Saving And Making New Arts Although, Some People Believe That This Money Can Utilized In Other Thing By effective Manner. I Agree That Government Should Make plan And make Corrective decision For Utilization Of Resources. Every country Is Facing Enormous Problem During The Time. I believe That Education Is Most Very Crucial For Country Development Government ought to Make Expenditure On Education Alternatively Saving Older Arts That Does Not Provide any Kind Of Financial Benefits To Nation. For Instance Making New and Saving Arts Just Like A picture And Required plenty Of amount Without Any Return However, This Investment Can make On Education Or Many Others Thing Will Provide Numerous Benefits For Development Of Country. As Per Recent Survey Being Conducted It has Been Found That 75% Percent people notion that Investing On Arts is Wasting of Amount And Money. Government Can Plan And Make country better By Avoiding This Expenditure And Planned New Way Of Budget. For Instance making Public Transport Better Can Leads Numerous benefits To Public And Help in Economic Growth Whereas Saving Arts just Remain A Frame With No Value. Every Thing Have two Aspect so After highlighting The Benefits Of Investing On Other Things Relatively On Arts. t Now Would Like To Put Some Light On Benefits Of Investing Arts. I think It will Help Us Take Traditional Culture For Future and Make People Realize Of Past Arts And Cultures Otherwise Arts And Gallery Tradition Will Ruin In Future And People Became Less Curious About Arts And Galleries. In Conclusion There Are Several Method To Investment Government Funding in Others Ways Rather Than Putting More And More Money on Arts. But We should make Balance And Spent accordingly Demand Of Our Country Alternatively Making Blind Investment On Arts
Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
Is Consider
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Very
Significant In All Over The World.
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Government
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Investing
Huge Amount On
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Saving
And Making New
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
Although,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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People
Believe That This Money Can Utilized In
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Other
Thing By effective Manner. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Agree
That
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
Should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Make
plan And
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
Corrective decision For Utilization Of Resources.

Every
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country
Is Facing Enormous Problem During The Time. I believe That Education Is Most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Very
Crucial For
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Country
Development
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Government
ought to
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Make
Expenditure On Education
Alternatively
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Saving
Older
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Arts
That Does Not Provide any Kind Of Financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Benefits
To Nation.
For Instance
Making New and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
Like A picture And Required
Possible agreement error. The noun amount seems to be countable; consider using: "plenty of amounts".
plenty Of amount
Without Any Return
However
, This Investment Can
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make
On Education Or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
Others Thing Will Provide Numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Benefits
For Development Of Country.

As Per Recent Survey
Being Conducted
It has
Been Found
That 75% Percent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
notion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Investing
On
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
is Wasting of Amount And Money.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
Can Plan And
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
better By Avoiding This Expenditure And Planned New Way Of Budget.
For Instance
making Public Transport Better Can Leads Numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
To Public And
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Help
in Economic Growth Whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
Remain A Frame With No Value.

Every Thing
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "has".
Have
two Aspect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
After highlighting The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Benefits
Of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Investing
On
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
Things
Relatively
On
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
Would Like To Put
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Some
Light On
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Benefits
Of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Investing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
It will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Help
Us Take Traditional Culture For Future and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
Realize Of Past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
And Cultures
Otherwise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
And Gallery Tradition Will Ruin In Future And
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
Became Less Curious About
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
And Galleries.

In Conclusion
There Are
Possible agreement error. The noun Method seems to be countable; consider using: "Several Methods".
Several Method
To Investment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
Funding in Others Ways
Rather
Than Putting More And More Money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
We should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
Balance And Spent
accordingly
Demand Of Our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Country
Alternatively
Making Blind Investment On
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
Arts
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IELTS essay Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
309 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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