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Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. B329
It is said that the money contributed to the art section by the government is not essential and it can be used for other purposes. I completely disagree with this statement because art industry is productive and also art is an essential part of the culture so it cannot be neglected. Firstly some fields of art are dedicated to people’s recreation such as performance arts like theater, films, opera or even ballet dancing. Audiences enjoy watching these forms of art in their leisure time and pay for it. Secondly, there are various artworks which are considered as tourism attraction. For instance, many people around the world visit Louvre museum in Paris each year mostly to behold the enigmatic smile of the Mona Lisa oil painting by Leonardo da Vinci. In other words, the money which is provided for art section by the authorities is an intelligent investment due to the fact that it is a profitable industry. The other factor which soar the importance of art is the fact that many people around the world are working in this industry. So the unemployment rate would decrease if the government manage it properly. For instance, artists like actors, writers, dancers, painters and also businessmen, art dealers and many other occupations are related to this industry. If the government stops supplying money all these people may become jobless. The last but not least, is the importance of art in culture. Studies on ancient art or medieval art, shows how these artists exposed their culture and tradition in their artworks such as cave paintings or stone carvings. Even recent emerging artists are creating masterpieces which help the improvement of the culture. For instance, consider Banksy, a famous British artist who does wall paintings. One of his artworks illustrates a boy enjoying playing with his toy which is a doll in shape of his nurse mother. This masterpiece shows the sacrifices which doctors and nurses and all healthcare workers made during the pandemic of Corona virus. Needless to say, Banksy artworks is becoming part of the Britain culture indeed. However, some argue that this money provided by the government can be more beneficial in other sections such as technology or science, in my opinion, technology and science are as important as art, the annual budget should be divided in a way that it covers all the aspects of the society.
It
is said
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
contributed to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
section by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is not essential and it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
purposes. I completely disagree with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
industry is productive and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is an essential part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it cannot
be neglected
.

Firstly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fields of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
are dedicated
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
recreation such as performance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
like theater, films, opera or even ballet dancing. Audiences enjoy watching these forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
in their leisure time and pay for it.
Secondly
, there are various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artworks
which
are considered
as tourism attraction.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the world visit
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Louvre museum
in Paris each year
mostly
to behold the enigmatic smile of the Mona Lisa oil painting by Leonardo da Vinci. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
which
is provided
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
section by the authorities is an intelligent investment due to the fact that it is a profitable industry.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factor which soar the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is the fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the world are working in this industry.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the unemployment rate would decrease if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
manage it
properly
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
like actors, writers, dancers, painters and
also
businessmen,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
dealers and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
occupations
are related
to this industry.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stops
supplying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
all these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may become jobless.

The last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, is the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. Studies on ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
or medieval
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
how these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
exposed their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and tradition in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artworks
such as cave paintings or stone carvings. Even recent emerging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
are creating masterpieces which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the improvement of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
For instance
, consider Banksy, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
British
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
who does wall paintings. One of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artworks
illustrates a boy enjoying playing with his toy which is a doll in shape of his nurse mother. This masterpiece
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the sacrifices which doctors and nurses and all healthcare workers made during the pandemic of
The term "Coronavirus" (= disease) is spelled as one word.
Corona virus
. Needless to say, Banksy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artworks
is becoming part of the Britain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
indeed
.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
provided by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can be more beneficial in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
sections such as technology or science, in my opinion, technology and science are as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
, the annual budget should
be divided
in a way that it covers all the aspects of the society.
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IELTS essay Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
396 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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