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Some people think that the best way to encourage pupils at secondary school to read more is to encourage their parents to read. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the best way to encourage pupils at secondary school to read more is to encourage their parents to read. VloWA
Recent years children have been becoming more and more obsessed with entertaining activities. Thereby, it is observed that at secondary schools children hardly read books. I support to appeal to parents to read books in order to draw children's attention it. Because by this way children imitate their parents and they can complete tasks accompanied with their parents. There is no doubt that parents play an indespensible role in children's life. For all children their parents are hero and they wish to be as if them. Together with when they see their parents reading a book or an article, they attempt to resemble them. Taking Israel as an example, in that country parents have certain time to spend on reading a book even they are exhausted. According to statistic data, that is why in Israel primary and secondary school rates are higher in comparison with others. Moreover, children read honestly while their parents are reading even newspaper. Because their elder parents read much, they deem that they should pore over books. And the parents' styles, actions can lead to finding more books to satisfy their imagination. In these cases, parents' positive actions are the profound faciliator of creating the interest in reading for their children. Secondly, doing the assignments with their parents is also profitable way to motivate school children to read a lot. Reading the books with parents in special places, they can debate the topic and exchange the ideas. For instance, by visiting public libraries with parents, borrowing books can enhance children interest to books. If they read in library, they will have more opportunities such as peaceful, multifarious range of books. They see a number of bibliophiles there and this will inspire them to dedicate time to reading. Then, they will perhaps find books that they like or they need. Additionally, when the parents tell the stories from the books they read such as the animals, it is a likelihood of the fact that children will pay attention to discovering the magnificent world existingin these books. In conclusion, I believe that encouraging pupils to inspire reading habits is an effective way but might not be enough. It will be more helpful if their parents read the books with them and solve the tasks together.
Recent years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have been becoming more and more obsessed with entertaining activities. Thereby, it
is observed
that at secondary schools
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
hardly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
. I support to appeal to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
in order to draw children's attention it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
by this way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
imitate their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
parents and
they can complete tasks
The usual collocation for "accompany" is "by," not "with." It is better to say this: "accompanied by".
accompanied with
their parents.

There is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
play an
Possible spelling mistake found.
indespensible
role in children's life. For all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
hero and
they wish to be as if them. Together with when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
or an article, they attempt to resemble them. Taking Israel as an example, in that country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have certain time to spend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
even they
are exhausted
. According to statistic data,
that is
why in Israel primary and secondary school rates are higher
in comparison
with others.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
honestly
while their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
even newspaper.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
their elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
much, they deem that they should pore over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
. And the parents' styles, actions can lead to finding more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
to satisfy their imagination. In these cases, parents'
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
actions are the profound
Possible spelling mistake found.
faciliator
of creating the interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
for their children.

Secondly
, doing the assignments with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is
also
profitable way to motivate school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
a lot.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Reading
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in special places, they can debate the topic and exchange the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.
For instance
, by visiting public libraries with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, borrowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
can enhance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
interest to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
. If they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
in library, they will have more opportunities such as peaceful, multifarious range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a number of bibliophiles there and this will inspire them to dedicate time to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
. Then, they will perhaps find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
that they
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
like or
they need.
Additionally
, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
the stories from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
such as the animals, it is a likelihood of the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will pay attention to discovering the magnificent world
Possible spelling mistake found.
existingin
these books.

In conclusion
, I believe that encouraging pupils to inspire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
habits is an effective way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
might not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
. It will be more helpful if their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
with them and solve the tasks together.
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IELTS essay Some people think that the best way to encourage pupils at secondary school to read more is to encourage their parents to read.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
377 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Some people think that the best way to encourage pupils at secondary school to read more is to encourage their parents to read. To what extent do you agree or disagree?