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some people think that teenage years are the happiest time of most people's lives. others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. discuss both views and give your opinion.

some people think that teenage years are the happiest time of most people's lives. others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. 5VYm
The different stages of our life, made us experience various situations. Few might have a bad experience during childhood and few might have better. In my view, I believe that being a youngster is much harder than being a grown-up. In this essay, I will be stating the reason behind my thought. Teenage is a really hard time and the future depends on this period. The majority of people remember childhood as a happy time since they only think of the part where they hang around with friends. Whereas, the reality is they have lots of pressure from school and parents on their study. Thus, some of them suicide and some become mentally unstable. For instance, In India, 70% of suicides are aged between 14-19. The rate keeps on increasing every year. Somehow, other's perspective of more happiness in school is wrong. A grown-up's life depends on how you did during your school or college time. Basically, your adult life depends on the seed you have sow. People are more independent since they have started earning on their own. They can follow their dream without anyone's permission. According to the Oxford University survey, it says that 60% of mature people enjoy their lives. To summarise, the happiness of life depends on every individual. In my perspective, I believe that the life during school time Is hardest for the children whereas adult is the period to enjoy.
The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
stages of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, made us experience various situations.
Possible agreement error. The noun might seems to be uncountable; consider using: "little might".
Few might
have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
experience during childhood and
Possible agreement error. The noun might seems to be uncountable; consider using: "little might".
few might
have better. In my view, I believe that being a youngster is much harder than being a grown-up. In this essay, I will be stating the reason behind my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
. Teenage is a
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and the future depends on this period. The majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
remember childhood as a happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
since they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of the part where they hang around with friends. Whereas, the reality is they have lots of pressure from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and parents on their study.
Thus
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them suicide and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
become mentally unstable.
For instance
, In India, 70% of suicides
are aged
between 14-19. The rate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
on increasing every year. Somehow, other's perspective of more happiness in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. A grown-up's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
depends on how you did during your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
or college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Basically
, your adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
depends on the seed you have sow.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are more independent since they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
earning on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. They can follow their dream without anyone's permission. According to the Oxford University survey, it says that 60% of mature
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
enjoy their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
, the happiness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
depends on every individual. In my perspective, I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
Is hardest for the children whereas adult is the period to enjoy.
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IELTS essay some people think that teenage years are the happiest time of most people's lives. others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
236 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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