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Some people think that technology widens the gap between poor and rich people. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that technology widens the gap between poor and rich people. gMld
According some people, technology expands the difference between poor and rich people. I am completely agree due several reasons. Firstly, it is obviously that, the tools of today’s technology influences appreciating people. Since people consider that some of people who use brand phone, laptop are rich. This means that a person is categorized due to tools of their using. For example, people who utilize cutting-edge phone, computer, watch of apple are considered richer than others. Because this brand is expensive and every person can not purchase these products. Secondly, the social media, which is a part of technology, rises distinction. Nowadays, many of people share their daily life on the social media, such as photos and videos. That is why, almost everyone has information about those: how does he/she live, how is their life standard. For instance, if any person takes photos in a costly place or in a brand car and add it to the instagram, people think this person to be rich. Moreover, in the past, people saw the lifestyle of other people, then they appraise. However, now, people evaluate others due to the life of social media. Therefore, These technology tools increase people’s information about others’ life and such much information rise the gap. In conclusion, in my opinion, technology tools create opinion in people to others and social medias affect this situation due to posts.
According
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some
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people
,
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technology
expands the difference between poor and rich
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people
. I am completely
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agree
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due
several reasons.

Firstly
, it is
obviously
that, the
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tools
of
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today
’s
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technology
influences appreciating
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people
. Since
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people
consider that
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some
of
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people
who
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use
brand phone, laptop are rich. This means that a
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person
is categorized
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due
to
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tools
of their using.
For example
,
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people
who utilize cutting-edge phone, computer,
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watch
of apple
are considered
richer than others.
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Because
this brand is expensive and every
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person
can not
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purchase
these products.

Secondly
, the
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social
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media
, which is a part of
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technology
, rises distinction. Nowadays,
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many
of
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people
share their daily
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life
on the
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social
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media
, such as photos and videos.
That is
why, almost everyone has information about those: how does he/she
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live
, how is their
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life
standard.
For instance
, if any
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person
takes photos in a costly place or in a brand car and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
it to the
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instagram
,
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people
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think
this
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person
to be rich.
Moreover
, in the past,
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people
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saw
the lifestyle of
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other
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people
, then they appraise.
However
,
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now
,
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people
evaluate others
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due
to the
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life
of
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social
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media
.
Therefore
, These
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technology
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tools
increase
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people’s
information about others’
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life
and such much information rise the gap.

In conclusion
, in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tools
create opinion in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to others and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medias
affect this situation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to posts.
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IELTS essay Some people think that technology widens the gap between poor and rich people.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
229 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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