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People live longer today and so people should stay in the workplace longer.

People live longer today and so people should stay in the workplace longer. 1d2q
Nowadays, in comparison to the past, we are witnessing that the life expectancy of human beings is increasing in most countries. The inevitable question which has always caused heated debate among experts is whether this longevity should lead to working longer. I firmly disagree with this view and believe that this trend will cause some problems such as youth unemployment and loss of productivity. I will elaborate on my opinion in the following paragraphs. First of all, the most significant reason is that the late retirement policy causes irreparable unemployment in the short run. Hence, when older people, due to living longer life, remain in the job market, the opportunity for the young to achieve proper jobs will be decreased. For instance, in this case, the mentioned policy was implemented in Iran, about five years ago, has implemented in Iran, and building upon the data released by the statistical Statistical center of Iran, youth unemployment is dramatically increasing over these years. ConsequentlyThat is why the high unemployment rate has become a major concern across the country. Therefore, late retirement, due to the higher life expectancy, would have negatively affected youth employment. Secondly, as people get older, their productivity in the workplace naturally drops. In fact, working beyond the retirement age damagingly impacts the efficiency of the factory or company. A university in Iran conducted an experiment on how increasing the age of workers affects companies’ performance. More than thirty companies took part in this study. They were divided into two categories. The first group included fifteen companies most of whose employees were under 60; another group was the companies most of whose employees were above 60. Eventually, Researchers found out the rate of efficiency in the former is approximately three times more than the latter. Thus, when employees work after a certain age will damage the companies’ efficiencies. In brief, all the aforementioned reasons lead us to the conclusion that, without a doubt, life expectancy is rising all over the world. Meanwhile, some people believe that because of this growth, employees should work longer. However, in my opinion, late retirement not only increases the unemployment among the young but also decreases the performance of the old.
Nowadays,
in comparison
to the past, we are witnessing that the
life
expectancy of human beings is increasing in most countries. The inevitable question which has always caused heated debate among experts is whether this longevity should lead to working longer. I
firmly
disagree with this view and believe that this trend will cause
some
problems such as youth
unemployment
and loss of productivity. I will elaborate on my opinion in the following paragraphs.

First of all
, the most significant reason is that the late
retirement
policy causes irreparable
unemployment
in the short run.
Hence
, when older
people
, due to living longer
life
, remain in the job market, the opportunity for the young to achieve proper jobs will
be decreased
.
For instance
,
in this case
, the mentioned policy
was implemented
in Iran, about five years ago, has implemented in Iran, and building upon the data released by the
statistical Statistical
center of Iran, youth
unemployment
is
dramatically
increasing over these years.
ConsequentlyThat
is why the high
unemployment
rate has become a major concern across the country.
Therefore
, late
retirement
, due to the higher
life
expectancy, would have
negatively
affected
youth employment.

Secondly
, as
people
get
older, their productivity in the workplace
naturally
drops. In fact, working beyond the
retirement
age
damagingly
impacts the efficiency of the factory or
company
. A university in Iran conducted an experiment on how increasing the age of workers affects
companies’
performance. More than thirty
companies
took part
in this study. They
were divided
into two categories. The
first
group included fifteen
companies
most of whose
employees
were under 60; another group was the
companies
most of whose
employees
were above 60.
Eventually
, Researchers found out the rate of efficiency in the former is approximately three times more than the latter.
Thus
, when
employees
work after a certain age will damage the
companies’
efficiencies.

In brief
, all the aforementioned reasons lead us to the conclusion that, without a doubt,
life
expectancy is rising all over the world. Meanwhile,
some
people
believe that
because of this
growth,
employees
should work longer.
However
, in my opinion, late
retirement
not
only
increases the
unemployment
among the young
but
also
decreases the performance of the
old
.
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IELTS essay People live longer today and so people should stay in the workplace longer.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
366 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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