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People spend too much on family celebrations such as birthdays and weddings. What are the importance of these celebrations? Do you think people really spend too much? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

People spend too much on family celebrations such as birthdays and weddings. What are the importance of these celebrations? Do you think people really spend too much? Oqj3
In today's fast-paced life, celebrating and spending moments with full joy is the whole tendency of today's people to express their happiness. Functions can usually include weddings and birthday parties. People spend a lot of money on parties. From my personal point of view, I think people should celebrate more and more but at the same time they should save themselves as much as possible from the extra expenses incurred on so many functions. Through this essay, I will try my best to prove my point with the help of some examples. Firstly, there is no denying that in today's life, where every human being has to work hard to move forward and raise his family well. As a result, a person does not have time to get out of his busy routine and live his life happily. Every human being who follows such a busy and similar routine gets bored one day. He apparently needs occasions like weddings and birthday celebrations, so that he can get out of his busy schedule and do something different. For example, in cities like Delhi, the schedule is enough hectic to make a human exhausted. So, he always keep on searching for such occasion, to indulge himself in a moment of celebration. Be that as it may, few people spend more than they can afford on such special occasions, so they sometimes have to face financial difficulties. Many people go too far without controlling their expenses, as a result of which they do not even have enough money to cover their daily expenses. For example, in state like Punjab, where spending more is in itself a big show. Many people here spend money thinking of flaunting in front of others instead of spending according to their own pockets, and later they sometimes face financial hardships for the same reason. To conclude, However, it is important to celebrate weddings and other functions in a good way and because of these changes in our daily routine and the human brain comes out of the pressure, we have to control our expenses. Celebrating the occasion should be spent with full liveliness and joy
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced life, celebrating and spending moments with full joy is the whole tendency of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to express their happiness. Functions can
usually
include weddings and birthday parties.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money on parties. From my personal point of view, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should celebrate more and more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the same time they should save themselves as much as possible from the extra expenses incurred on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
functions. Through this essay, I will try my best to prove my point with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
examples.

Firstly
, there is no denying that in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's life, where every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
forward and raise his family well.
As a result
, a person does not have time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of his busy routine and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
his life
happily
. Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
being who follows such a busy and similar routine
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
bored one day. He
apparently
needs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occasions
like weddings and birthday celebrations,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that he can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of his busy schedule and do something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
.
For example
, in cities like Delhi, the schedule is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
hectic to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
exhausted.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, he always
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "keeps", "kept".
keep
on searching for such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occasion
, to indulge himself in a moment of celebration.

Be that as it may, few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend more than they can afford on such special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occasions
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face financial difficulties.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go too far without controlling their expenses,
as a result
of which they do not even have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to cover their daily expenses.
For example
, in state like Punjab, where spending more is in itself a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
here spend money thinking of flaunting in front of others
instead
of spending according to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pockets, and later they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
face financial hardships for the same reason.

To conclude
,
However
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to celebrate weddings and other functions in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in our daily routine and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
brain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
out of the pressure, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
control our expenses. Celebrating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occasion
should
be spent
with full liveliness and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
joy
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IELTS essay People spend too much on family celebrations such as birthdays and weddings. What are the importance of these celebrations? Do you think people really spend too much?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
356 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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