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Some people think that spending a lot on holding wedding parties, birthday parties and other celebrations is just a waste of money. Others, however, think that these are necessary for individuals and the society.

Some people think that spending a lot on holding wedding parties, birthday parties and other celebrations is just a waste of money. Others, however, think that these are necessary for individuals and the society. Gy3o
A number of people believe that spending a large amount of money on occasions like marriage, birthday its does not make sense at all, however others have opposite opinion. I personally believe spending plethora of money on these types of functions is not right way to use money. On one hand, those people who do not agree with spending large amount of money any functions because they consider it is not give any benefits though it's breaking our saving which we can use for our better and secure future. For instance, if they spend money like that may be it can create financially problems in their family life. However, I agree with this view because people need save their money for their children's future, hospital bills and other essential expenses. On other hand, people who spend big amount of money on their events they want to make their occasion special and beautiful. For example, number of people like decorative things and various types of food. They use expensive and variety of decoration materials in their functions like LED lights, different types of flowers. Furthermore, they ordered different types of food such as Italian food, Contential and Chinese dishes which are so expensive. However, I believe that people do this expenses because they think it is crucial in this modern time to make our guests happy and get compliments by them for good arrangements. I believe it is not vital to spend big part of our saving on these occasions rather than other needs. To conclude, money play important role in our life which fulfill our daily needs and help to survive in this world. Spending large amount of money on functions can create financially mess.
A number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
a large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on occasions like marriage, birthday its does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sense at all,
however
others have opposite opinion. I
personally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
functions
is not
Please check whether an article is missing: "a right".
right
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. On one hand, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
functions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they consider it is not give any benefits though it's breaking our saving which we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for our better and secure future.
For instance
, if they spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
like that
Did you mean "maybe" (= perhaps)?
may be
it can create
financially
problems in their family life.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need save their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for their children's future, hospital bills and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
essential expenses. On
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their occasion special and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
.
For example
, number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like decorative things and various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of food. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
expensive and variety of decoration materials in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
functions
like LED lights,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of flowers.
Furthermore
, they ordered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of food such as Italian food,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Contential
and Chinese dishes which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
expensive.
However
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do this expenses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is crucial in this modern time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our guests happy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
compliments by them for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
arrangements. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
it is not vital to spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
part of our saving on these occasions
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
needs.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in our life which fulfill our daily needs and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to survive in this world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Spending
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
functions
can create
financially
mess.
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A man who knows two languages is worth two men.
French Proverb

IELTS essay Some people think that spending a lot on holding wedding parties, birthday parties and other celebrations is just a waste of money. Others, however, think that these are necessary for individuals and the society.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
285 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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