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Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. RNloY
With the popularity of internet technology, social networking sites have a huge impact on both individuals and society. Some people believe that the effect of cyber social sites is negative. I strongly agree with this opinion. To begin with, the internet system is cost-effective and convenient for individuals. This means that all kinds of human behaviours have been moving from the real world to a virtual world, which can promote people to finish many works efficiently, make friends widely, and discuss all kinds of topics whenever and wherever possible. However, people are inevitable to lose many healthy habits, such as, the global meeting leads many people who have to work at night to suffer from a long time sitting down a side of the desk talking with colleagues or customers from the different city across the world. This kind of sedentary lifestyles definitely impacts people’s health negatively, which cause many serious illnesses to workers such as heart disease or obesity. Additionally, the trait of high performant internet social network is irreversible to promote many societies running efficiently, while it absolutely attracts some people to commit all kinds of cyber-crimes. Through building network chat rooms, pasting pornographies, spreading rumours, making fake news, so that they can push drugs, illegally gamble, overhaul some crucial verdicts like a result of national voting. Those activities deeply deteriorate our societies, which make the mechanism of society not longer high quality. To summarise, technological progress has been overwhelming all kinds of conventional customs, beliefs, norms and values. I hold a conservative opinion and pessimistically think that the negative side of social network sites must change the orientation of our lives to twilight.
With the popularity of internet technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking sites have a huge impact on both individuals and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the effect of cyber
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
sites is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the internet system
is cost
-effective and convenient for individuals. This means that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kinds
of human
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
have been moving from the real world to a virtual world, which can promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to finish
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
works
efficiently
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends
widely
, and discuss all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kinds
of topics whenever and wherever possible.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are inevitable to lose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
healthy habits, such as, the global meeting leads
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work at night to suffer from a long time sitting down a side of the desk talking with colleagues or customers from the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
city across the world. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kind
of sedentary lifestyles definitely impacts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
health
negatively
, which cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
serious illnesses to workers such as heart disease or obesity.

Additionally
, the trait of high performant internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
network is irreversible to promote
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
running
efficiently
, while it
absolutely
attracts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to commit all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kinds
of cyber-crimes. Through building network chat rooms, pasting
Possible spelling mistake found.
pornographies
, spreading
Possible spelling mistake found.
rumours
, making fake news,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can push drugs,
illegally
gamble, overhaul
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
crucial verdicts like a result of national voting. Those activities
deeply
deteriorate our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the mechanism of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
not longer high quality.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
, technological progress has been overwhelming all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kinds
of conventional customs, beliefs, norms and values. I hold a conservative opinion and
pessimistically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
network sites
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the orientation of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
to twilight.
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IELTS essay Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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