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some people think that school reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion.

some people think that school reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. PP82
Providing prices at school is best way to motivates students. Therefore, a few individuals believe that rewarding those students who secured high in academic could be the best idea. Whereas, others opine that school should give prices to students who show progress. In my view, I believe that rewarding to progressive students might be the best option. The essay, anyways, will still explain both the views briefly with suitable facts and examples. There are numerous of reasons behind why Institutions ought to provide rewards to students who indicate progress. The first and foremost is that in this way students get motivated. This is to say that, if students just improve their score slightly than former one, than also they should get reward. Therefore, they get inspired and also try to push forward for the next time. For example, in the university survey of public school indicated that they are giving trophies to those pupils who only score higher than their last academic marks. Thus, students also indulge the true spirit of learning and influence after showing seldom progress. On the other hand, those learners who have secured the top positions in their academic results also not to be neglected. As they are pride of the school, so they are also as capable as for receiving the trophies. To exemplify, students only receive that high level after implementing hard work in their study. In this way a student can perceive the top level position in their grades. As a result, if they get rewards, they will do twofold hard work next time. For instance, in Delhi public schools always awarded those students who have the best academic results. Owing to this every year scholar students get increased. Henceforth, top scholar students also possess the extraordinary talents for results. In conclusion, institutes not only provides rewards to higher ranker, but also give to those who improve throughout a year.
Providing prices at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
way to motivates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Therefore
, a few individuals believe that rewarding those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
secured high in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
could be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, others opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
should give prices to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
progress. In my view, I believe that rewarding to progressive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
might be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
option. The essay, anyways, will
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
both the views
briefly
with suitable facts and examples.

There are numerous of reasons behind why Institutions ought to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rewards
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
indicate progress. The
first
and foremost is that in this way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
motivated. This is to say that, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their score
Use "(slightly)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
slightly
than former one, than
also
they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reward
.
Therefore
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
inspired and
also
try to push forward for the
next
time.
For example
, in the university survey of public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
indicated that they are giving trophies to those pupils
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
score higher than their last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
marks.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
also
indulge the true spirit of learning and influence after showing seldom progress.

On the other hand
, those learners
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have secured the top positions in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
results
also
not to
be neglected
. As they are pride of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they are
also
as capable as for receiving the trophies. To exemplify,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
receive that high level after implementing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work in their study. In this way a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
can perceive the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
top level
position in their grades.
As a result
, if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rewards
, they will do twofold
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work
next
time.
For instance
, in Delhi public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
always awarded those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
results. Owing to this every year scholar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
increased. Henceforth, top scholar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
also
possess the extraordinary talents for results.

In conclusion
, institutes not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rewards
to higher ranker,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
give to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
throughout a year.
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IELTS essay some people think that school reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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