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PROBLEMS AND SOLUTIONS FOR THE HIGH INCREASE OF TRAFFIC

PROBLEMS AND SOLUTIONS FOR THE HIGH INCREASE OF TRAFFIC gmpa
In recent years, the quantity of city-dwellers travelling with their private transports has inclined significantly which attributes to a vast number of serious problems. Though many negative aspects related to this propensity are created, I believe that authorities can take steps to mitigate these potential issues. It cannot be denied that the high increase of traffic can lead to a variety of negative offences. The foremost phenomenon is that in many metropolises, too much vehicles on the streets can cause traffic congestion, especially in rush hours, which may prevent the citizens from travelling to work or study. Many people perceive this is mainly because the residents hardly ever travel with the public transports due to the awful service and under-poor facilities hence they prefer their own transports because of their comfort and convenience. Secondly, as the number of vehicles in urban areas climbs up dramatically therefore a huge amount carbon dioxide can be released directly into the environment, which may cause air contamination and affect people ‘lives seriously. For instance, Shanghai, which is one of the most gigantic cities in the world, is now in risk of environmental pollution because of containing too much emission from the huge number of transports such as cars, trucks and motorbikes. However, several complications related to massive ownership of vehicles can be tackled with by city councils and individuals. The primary remedy is that authorities should upgrade the transportation system like expanding and creating more roads and highways, hence it may reduce the density obstacles. The next pragmatic measure which can be adopted to handle these consequences is that governments should provide decent, commodious and spotless public transports and offer a diversification of the routes; therefore more people may commute by them, instead of driving their private cars or motorbikes. This activity cannot only minimize the emissions released to the environment which can cause air contamination, but also reduce the amount of traffic congestion. Take Tokyo as an example, recently the traffic system of this enormous city has improved comprehensively as the numbers of inhabitants commuting by bus and subway has rose significantly, thus the traffic congestion and environmental pollution have been mitigated so the city dwellers’ lives in Tokyo now are pretty pleasant. To conclude, although there are many negative consequences associated with the massive personal vehicles, they can be alleviated efficiently by taking some appropriate remedies.
In recent years, the quantity of city-dwellers travelling with their private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
has inclined
significantly
which attributes to a vast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of serious problems. Though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects related to this propensity
are created
, I believe that authorities can take steps to mitigate these potential issues.

It cannot
be denied
that the high increase of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
can lead to a variety of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
. The foremost phenomenon is that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
metropolises, too
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
on the streets can cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion,
especially
in rush hours, which may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the citizens from travelling to work or study.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
perceive this is
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the residents hardly ever travel with the public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
due to the awful service and under-poor facilities
hence
they prefer their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their comfort and convenience.
Secondly
, as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
in urban areas climbs up
dramatically
therefore
a huge amount carbon dioxide can
be released
directly
into the environment, which may cause air contamination and affect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
‘
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
seriously
.
For instance
, Shanghai, which is one of the most gigantic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
in the world, is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of environmental pollution
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of containing too much emission from the huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
such as cars, trucks and motorbikes.

However
, several complications related to massive ownership of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
can
be tackled
with by city councils and individuals. The primary remedy is that authorities should upgrade the transportation system like expanding and creating more roads and highways,
hence
it may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the density obstacles. The
next
pragmatic measure which can
be adopted
to handle these consequences is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should provide decent, commodious and spotless public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
and offer a diversification of the routes;
therefore
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may commute by them,
instead
of driving their private cars or motorbikes. This activity cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
minimize the emissions released to the environment which can cause air contamination,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion. Take Tokyo as an example, recently the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
system of this enormous city has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
comprehensively
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
of inhabitants commuting by bus and subway has
Use the past participle "risen" after the modal (auxiliary) verb 'has'.
rose
significantly
,
thus
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion and environmental pollution have
been mitigated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the city dwellers’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in Tokyo
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
are pretty pleasant.

To conclude
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences associated with the massive personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
, they can
be alleviated
efficiently
by taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
appropriate remedies.
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IELTS essay PROBLEMS AND SOLUTIONS FOR THE HIGH INCREASE OF TRAFFIC

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
394 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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