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Animals are in danger of extinction. Some people say that we should protect only those animals which are useful to humans. Do you agree or disagree?

Animals are in danger of extinction. Some people say that we should protect only those animals which are useful to humans. 7nBY
Nowadays the number of endangered species has reached an alarming stage. While some people think humans should only protect animals which are useful to us, I completely disagree with this idea and I believe we should try to protect all species, even if there are those who think they are not useful. This essay will present arguments to support my opinion. First, I believe a large number of animals which is in danger of extinction is due to human activity. For example, deforestation and intentional burnings are two of the main factors that made dozens of species disappear. Therefore, there is nothing fairer than protect those animals that we put in this situation, whether or not they are useful to humans. Furthermore, we may think that some species are not useful nowadays, but we are not able to predict the future and some species that we classify as unuseful, will be in the future. Second, every animal has an important role in the environment. In other words, every single specie is extremely vital to maintain the animal kingdom balanced. For example, the extinction of one single animal can lead to serious troubles for others. This is because every animal has a position in the animal net, while some are preys, others are predators. If one of them disappears, the whole system may be in danger. To sum up, I believe humans should be worried about protecting all kinds of animals. Not only because they are essential to the environment, but also because some of them are endangered due to human activity.
Nowadays the number of endangered species has reached an alarming stage. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
which are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
useful
to us, I completely disagree with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and I believe we should try to protect all species, even if there are those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
useful
. This essay will present arguments to support my opinion.

First
, I believe
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
which is in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
of extinction is due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
activity.
For example
, deforestation and intentional
Possible spelling mistake found.
burnings
are two of the main factors that made dozens of species disappear.
Therefore
, there is nothing fairer than protect those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
that we put in this situation,
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
whether or not
they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
useful
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
.
Furthermore
, we may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
species are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
useful
nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we are not able to predict the future and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
species that we classify as unuseful, will be in the future.

Second, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
has an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the environment.
In other words
, every single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
specie
is
extremely
vital to maintain the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
kingdom balanced.
For example
, the extinction of one single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
can lead to serious troubles for others. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
has a position in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
net, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are preys, others are predators. If one of them disappears, the whole system may be in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
.

To sum up, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
should
be worried
about protecting all kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are essential to the environment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them
are endangered
due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
activity.
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IELTS essay Animals are in danger of extinction. Some people say that we should protect only those animals which are useful to humans.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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