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Some people think that school children need to learn practical skills such as car maintenance and bank account management along with the academic school subjects. To what exten ance and bank account management along with academic subject

It is a well-known fact that some people support the opinion of learning practical skills too at school besides the academic subjects. For example car maintenance and bank account management. In my opinion, I agree with these people because of many reasons most of which will be examined below. To start with I believe that it is very important for kids to learn some things that they will be helpful to their future life. For example it will be helped a lot if schools were teaching students how to fix a rusted water pump or even how to restore it completely. Furthermore, the children in their future lives will spend much less money on plumbers, electricals and other experts who take advantage of peoples’ acknowledge and charge them a lot of money. Also, knowing a practical skill may save you from a difficult situation. What I mean is that, if the children’s car gets damaged, he will be able to fix it with his knowledge that he got from school. To achieve that, schools should disburse more money on equipment and teachers. Moreover it would be very helpful if the government spend more money on schools’ projects in order to achieve their goals and fill their students with very useful information. Additionally it would be very helpful if schools were asking from experts to do presentations and daily classes so, the students to see practically how all that they learn are in real life. Some people claim that children’s schedules will be full and that they will not have any free time. To answer this I believe that with the correct programing of the school’s schedule hours children will not be hard-pressed. To end up I really believe that if practical skills lessons appear in schools students will get knowledge of everything something that will help them in their future lives as adults and parents.
It is a well-known fact that
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some
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people
support the opinion of learning practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
too at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
besides
the academic subjects.
For example
car maintenance and bank account management. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with these
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people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons most of which will
be examined
below.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with I believe that it is
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very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for kids to learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
things that they will be helpful to their future life. For
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example it
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
a lot if
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schools
were teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
a rusted water pump or even how to restore it completely.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in their future
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
will spend much less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on plumbers,
Possible spelling mistake found.
electricals
and other experts who take advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples’
acknowledge and charge them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Also
, knowing a practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
may save you from a difficult situation. What I mean is that, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
car
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
damaged, he will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
it with his knowledge that he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
from school.

To achieve that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should disburse more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on equipment and teachers.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
it would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools’
projects in order to achieve their goals and fill their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful information.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Additionally
it would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
were asking from experts to do presentations and daily classes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
practically
how all that they learn are in real life.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
schedules will be full and that they will not have any free time. To answer this I believe that with the correct
Possible spelling mistake found.
programing
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school’s
schedule hours
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-pressed.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up I
really
believe that if practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
lessons appear in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
knowledge of everything something that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in their future
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
as adults and parents.
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IELTS essay Some people think that school children need to learn practical skills such as car maintenance and bank account management along with the academic school subjects. To what exten ance and bank account management along with academic subject

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
315 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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