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Some people think that children should obey rules and do what their parents and teachers want them to do. Other people think that children controlled too much cannot deal with problems themselves in adulthood. Discuss both views and state your own opinion

If children are controlled too much, they will not deal with problems from society themselves when they grow up. I agree with this view, despite some people argue that kids should obey rules come from their parents and teachers want them to do. It is significant for children especially those young kids to plan a regulation to restrict their action. As young children they do not have a mature judgement system and sufficient self-discipline, so that they may make some mistakes or may not have a good academic achievement. Those kids should be ruled by family members and school teachers. The consequence is that children may have gentle action and more self-discipline. Those rules planned by parents or teachers can make them to become a compitive person. Although there are some positive effects to rule kids, parents should allow young children have more space to develop their independence ability. Every individual kids have their special advantages. Like brilliant creating ability, talented in communication and organization. Those extraordinary advantages are useful for their career when they are elder. Parents should reduce some limits to their children, find out their potential abilities when interact with them in daily life and teach how to utilize their special abilities to themselves. For instance, if parents find their kids be good at communication, they should lead their kids do more speech and communication skills because speech can make people confidence and communication skills can make them communicate with others in gentle words. Father or mother should set some problems in their kids daily life and solve problems by themselves, this in order to cultivate their kids independence ability when they grow up. Overall, perhaps there are some benefits to ruled children because it can teach them self-discipline and more gentle. But individuals have their different advantages. It is not smart to cultivate those kids by a pattern. So, I tend to think it is more benefits for children that give them more space to develop their abilities solving problems.
If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are controlled
too much, they will not deal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
from society themselves when they grow up. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view, despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
should obey
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and teachers want them to do.

It is significant for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
especially
those young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
to plan a regulation to restrict their action. As young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
they do not have a mature judgement system and sufficient self-discipline,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mistakes or may not have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
academic achievement. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
should
be ruled
by family members and school teachers. The consequence is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may have gentle action and more self-discipline. Those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
planned by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
or teachers can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them to become a
Possible spelling mistake found.
compitive
person.

Although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have more space to develop their independence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
. Every individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
have their special advantages. Like brilliant creating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
, talented in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
and organization. Those extraordinary advantages are useful for their career when they are elder.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
limits to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, find out their potential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abilities
when interact with them in daily life and teach how to utilize their special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abilities
to themselves.
For instance
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
find their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
, they should lead their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
do more speech and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
speech can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
confidence and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them communicate with others in gentle words. Father or mother should set
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
daily life and solve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
by themselves, this in order to cultivate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
independence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
when they grow up.

Overall
, perhaps there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits to ruled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can teach them self-discipline and more gentle.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
individuals have their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
advantages. It is not smart to cultivate those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
by a pattern.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is more benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
that give them more space to develop their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abilities
solving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that children should obey rules and do what their parents and teachers want them to do. Other people think that children controlled too much cannot deal with problems themselves in adulthood. Discuss both views and state your own opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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