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Some people think that resources should be spent on protecting wild animals, while others think those would be better used for the human population. discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Some people think that resources should be spent on protecting wild animals, while others think those would be better used for the human population. gpk3
A group of people say that assets shall use to provide safety to animals live in jungle, however others say that be going to be used for betterment of humankind. I believe that resources shall be used for both. Number of people think that money shall be spend on the animals, first and fore most reason is everyone know that wild animals are essential part of our live due to the fact that they play vital role in the food chain process. Another cause is a plethora of mammals are dying in light of the fact that of human activities such as, people are cutting threes for land. A survey was conducted which shown that in India only 20 lions are left. Consequently, without protection lions will finish in the near future. Apart from this, It has been noticed that numerous people are killing the animals for their personal benefits, On the top of it a number of birds and animals are dying due to the fact of technological advancement. For instance a plethora of birds die owing to the fact that of cable we use for connectivity. On the other hand, other people believe that assets shall be used for humans as well. Owing to the fact that climate is changing very quickly consequently if we provide a number of help to people it can lead to stop people cutting the trees which will be helpful to stop global warming. Moreover, everyone has right on natural resources consequently these shall be used for everyone. I opine that resources must be used for both reason due to the above mention causes. To conclude, I would like to reiterate that resources be going to be used for both for safety of wild animal and betterment of humankind.
A group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that assets shall
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
to provide safety to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in jungle,
however
others say that be going to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for betterment of humankind. I believe that resources shall be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for both. Number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that money shall be
Consider using the past participle "spent"?
spend
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
,
first
and fore most reason is everyone know that wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are essential part of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that they play vital role in the food chain process. Another cause is a plethora of mammals are dying in light of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that of human activities such as,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are cutting threes for land. A survey
was conducted
which shown that in India
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
20 lions are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
.
Consequently
, without protection lions will finish in the near future. Apart from this, It has
been noticed
that numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are killing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for their personal benefits, On the top of it a number of birds and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are dying due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
of technological advancement.
For instance
a plethora of birds
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
owing to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that of cable we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for connectivity.
On the other hand
, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that assets shall be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for humans
as well
. Owing to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that climate is changing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
quickly
consequently
if we provide a number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
it can lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cutting the trees which will be helpful to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
global warming.
Moreover
, everyone has right on natural resources
consequently
these shall be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for everyone. I opine that resources
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for both reason due to the above mention causes.
To conclude
, I would like to reiterate that resources be going to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for both for safety of wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
and betterment of humankind.

IELTS essay Some people think that resources should be spent on protecting wild animals, while others think those would be better used for the human population.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
296 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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