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In some culture , children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

In some culture, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message? pVo3
Teaching children hard work and determination takes offering them chances to try new things, encouraging them through their work, helping them troubleshoot when they hit a speed bump as well as offering specific and effort oriented praise instead of only results-oriented praise. In the following paragraphs both the merits and demerits would be discussed with an apt examples. First and foremost reason is that, incredible amount of work brings self-confidence between them. To justify this, children will learn a message that actions speak louder than words is very true when it comes to character traits as it would accomplish their personality and motivates them to do hard enough for achieving goals, dreams in life such as telling stories or setting role model. For an example, Dallas Mavericks owner work for seven years without taking any leave while stating his first business. Moreover, successful people are considered with talent but the truth is that worked harder than the average person can even imagine. Hence, giving positive message for achieving success is fruitful for youngsters. In the loggers head, is motivation for work hard is always beneficial? No best examples here suits from the movie Chhihore that children should enjoy the journey without worrying about the destination. To be more specify, parents usually pushes their children to score first rank in life instead of encouraging them to learn, if they want to shine like the sun, first they needs to burn like the sun which demoralized them as they need appreciation for their attempt but fact is that when they fails in their first attempt they moves towards wrong path. All in all, adolescent are like water parents can module them in any shape, if they guide them by understating their mind sets as over estimation of every thing has its own pros-cons so nothing should be over and under – estimated whether it is motivation to work hard.
Teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and determination takes offering them chances to try new things, encouraging them through their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, helping them troubleshoot when they hit a speed bump
as well
as offering specific and effort oriented praise
instead
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
results-oriented praise. In the following paragraphs both the merits and demerits would
be discussed
with an apt
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "example"?
examples
.

First
and foremost reason is that, incredible amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
brings self-confidence between them. To justify this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will learn a message that actions speak louder than words is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
true when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to character traits as it would accomplish their personality and motivates them to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for achieving goals, dreams in life such as telling stories or setting role model. For an example, Dallas Mavericks owner
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for seven years without taking any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
while stating his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
business.
Moreover
, successful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are considered
with talent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the truth is that worked harder than the average person can even imagine.
Hence
, giving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
message for achieving success is fruitful for youngsters.

In the loggers head, is motivation for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
is always beneficial? No best examples here suits from the movie
Possible spelling mistake found.
Chhihore
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should enjoy the journey without worrying about the destination. To be more specify, parents
usually
pushes their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to score
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
rank in life
instead
of encouraging them to learn, if they want to shine like the sun,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "need"
needs
to burn like the sun which demoralized them as they need appreciation for their attempt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
fact is that when they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "fail"
fails
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
attempt they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "move"
moves
towards
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
path.

All in all, adolescent are like water parents can module them in any shape, if they guide them by understating their mind sets as over estimation of every thing has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pros-cons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
nothing should be over and under
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
estimated whether it is motivation to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
.
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IELTS essay In some culture, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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