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Some people think that professional sports players earn too much salary, especially when they do not seem to help people and societies the way people of other occupation such as doctors, teachers, and soldiers do. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that professional sports players earn too much salary, especially when they do not seem to help people and societies the way people of other occupation such as doctors, teachers, and soldiers do. with this statement? QL53P
Nowadays, people who work in an entertainment industry such as athletes have much higher income than other occupations. Even though their work does not contribute in helping the society as much as others do so. However, this essay disagrees with the statement in which argue that athletes have receive fair amount of payment for their job and do participate in helping the community. First of all, there is only a prime period of time in which athletes are able to participate in sport competitions. When that time has passed, they could no longer compete due to their age and health. In other words, the high payment they received in that limited time when they were still capable of playing sports, compensate for the lack of their income in their retirement years which is normally earlier than regular jobs. Secondly, well-known sport person can be a major contribution in improving the society provided that their popularity can be promoted for the benefits of community. For instance, the athletes can initiate or participate in promoting the charity so it will receive better help and attention. Moreover, addressing problems for the better of society and standing up for the rights of people will be perceived as more trust-worthy when addressed person is famous. In conclusion, this essay disagrees with the aforementioned statement that the athlete’s income is unreasonably high. Providing the contradict aspects of the time limit in their career and their contributions in improving the society’s quality. Therefore, when determining the salary worth of a particular work, many more aspects should be considered.
Nowadays,
people
who work in an entertainment industry such as
athletes
have much higher income than other occupations.
Even though
their work does not contribute in helping the
society
as much as others do
so
.
However
, this essay disagrees with the statement in which argue that
athletes
have
receive
fair
amount of payment for their job and do participate in helping the community.

First of all
, there is
only
a prime period of
time
in which
athletes
are able to participate in sport competitions. When that
time
has passed, they could no longer compete due to their age and health.
In other words
, the high payment they received in that limited
time
when they were
still
capable of playing sports, compensate for the lack of their income in their retirement years which is
normally
earlier than regular jobs.

Secondly
, well-known sport person can be a major contribution in improving the
society
provided that their popularity can
be promoted
for the benefits of community.
For instance
, the
athletes
can initiate or participate in promoting the charity
so
it will receive better
help
and attention.
Moreover
, addressing problems for the
better
of
society
and standing up for the rights of
people
will
be perceived
as more trust-worthy when addressed person is
famous
.

In conclusion
, this essay disagrees with the aforementioned statement that the
athlete’s
income is
unreasonably
high. Providing
the contradict
aspects of the
time
limit in their career and their contributions in improving the
society’s
quality.
Therefore
, when determining the salary worth of a particular work,
many
more aspects should
be considered
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that professional sports players earn too much salary, especially when they do not seem to help people and societies the way people of other occupation such as doctors, teachers, and soldiers do. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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