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Some people think that personal happiness is related to the economic success while other believe that depends on the other factor discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people think that personal happiness is related to the economic success while other believe that depends on the other factor discuss both views and give your opinion gbErl
Although, certain section of the society believes, that personal happiness is reflected by the economic success. while, others claim that other factors related to the happiness of a person. In this essay I will discuss both views along with my supportive point to latter view. To commence with, the most potent arguments in the favour of this phenomenon is that, when people have economic progress, then they are more happier. In other words, if a person have all the amenities and live and have luxurious lifestyle then he or she will be more happiest as, they do not have stress related to their livelihood but, on the other side people those are unable to earn money and does not have a comfortable lifestyle and they face more obstacles and remained unhappy. For pragmatic instance, the people of America are more happier and healthier as compared to the citizen of Pakistan due to, economic success As a result, people can enjoy their life. On the flip side, mental support is mandatory behind the personal happiness. To simplify, if a person have all the facilities which make their life more convenient but his or her family do not spend time with him or her and have many maladies, then it reflects on their happiness. Take an example, mostly children of affluent family becomes astray from their path and indulge into foul works which will lead numerous physical and psychological problems among their parents. I personally believe that, health and satisfaction of the person are more crucial than economic growth. If a person have low income but he or she will satisfied and also, his family bonding is good then it will reflect on their happiness. In conclusion, satisfaction and mental support are the reasons of agreement with the statement that, rather than economic success other factors are more related to happiness of a person.
Although, certain section of the society believes, that personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
is reflected
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
success.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
while
, others claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factors related to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
. In this essay I will discuss both views along with my supportive point to latter view. To commence with, the most potent arguments in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of this phenomenon is that, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
progress, then they are
Use only "happier" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more happier
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
have all the amenities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and have luxurious lifestyle then he or she will be
Use only "happiest" (without 'more') when you use the superlative.
more happiest
as, they do not have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
related to their livelihood
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
those are unable to earn money and does not have a comfortable
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
lifestyle and
they face more obstacles and remained unhappy. For pragmatic instance, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of America are
Use only "happier" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more happier
and healthier
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compared to the citizen of Pakistan due to,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
success
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can enjoy their life. On the flip side, mental support is mandatory behind the personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
. To simplify, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
have all the facilities which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their life more convenient
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
family do not spend time with him or her and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
maladies, then it reflects on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
. Take an example,
mostly
children of affluent family becomes astray from their path and indulge into foul works which will lead numerous physical and psychological problems among their parents. I
personally
believe that, health and satisfaction of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
are more crucial than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
growth. If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
have low income
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he or she will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "satisfy"
satisfied
and
also
, his family bonding is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
then it will reflect on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
.
In conclusion
, satisfaction and mental support are the reasons of agreement with the statement that,
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
success
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factors are more related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that personal happiness is related to the economic success while other believe that depends on the other factor discuss both views and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
312 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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