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Some people think that people who 60 and more should retire and stop working

Some people think that people who 60 and more should retire and stop working RVM3Q

has been an issue of a heated debate whether people who reached retirement age ought to halt working or not. This essay totally agrees with that statement. I believe that ageing people must devote their time on relaxing and on their offspring. Aside from that elderlies’ health is weak that they prone to get ill, also, their remembering capacity is lower, therefore, it is hard to work them. First and foremost, it is compelling fact that various people aged 60 and over have health and mental problems such as diabetes mellitus, high blood pressure, lower eye-sight and memorizing. This means that they are not able to work hard and bear long time every day, due to that, they have to take their drugs on time and taking care their health. For instance, my grandfather used to work hardly during the whole days as a builder carrying heavy substances and participating to build a multi-story building because he enjoyed his job. However, after do not stopping working he complicated his diabetes and took hospital, also broke his leg. Since my grandfather halted his job, he has been taking care of his health. Also he wish he stopped the work. Furthermore, it is vital to relax after long-term work spending quality and fascinating time their children and grandchildren or travelling for people aged 60 and more. For the reason that their mind is tired. Thus, in my opinion they should get retired. Also, they need to be taked care by their children, due to that they are vulnerable as a child. For instance, I frequently meet and take care of my grandparents. They get exceptionally glad when I pay attention them. Therefore, they must not waste their less time by working. In conclusion, I hold the view that seniors looking after their health and spend quality time with their family instead of working. Even they work, they cannot perform it properly due to health issues and their states

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letterHas
has
 been an issue of a heated debate whether You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
 who reached retirement age ought to halt working or not. This essay totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquiesces
agrees
 with that statement. I believe that Possible spelling mistake. 'ageing' is British English.aging
ageing
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people
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must
 devote their You use this word too often, consider replacing it withpointgenerationpastsecondturnspace
time
 on relaxing and on their offspring. Aside from that Possible spelling mistake found.elder lies
elderlies
’ You use this word too often, consider replacing it withenergystrengthwell-beingfitness
health
 is weak that they prone to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquire
get
 ill, also
, their remembering capacity is lower, therefore
, it is This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :arduous
hard
 to You use this word too often, consider replacing it withtaskindustrytrialjobproductionstruggle
work
 them.

First
 and foremost, it is compelling fact that various You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
 aged 60 and over have You use this word too often, consider replacing it withenergystrengthwell-beingfitness
health
 and mental problems such as diabetes mellitus, high blood pressure, lower eye-sight and memorizing. This means that they are not able to You use this word too often, consider replacing it withtaskindustrytrialjobproductionstruggle
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :arduous
hard
 and bear long You use this word too often, consider replacing it withpointgenerationpastsecondturnspace
time
 every day, due to that, they This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:ought to
have to
 take their drugs on You use this word too often, consider replacing it withpointgenerationpastsecondturnspace
time
 and taking You use this word too often, consider replacing it withresponsibility
care
 their You use this word too often, consider replacing it withenergystrengthwell-beingfitness
health
. For instance
, my grandfather This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :exploited
used
 to The adverb 'hardly' is usually put before the verb 'work'.hardly work
work hardly
 during the whole days as a builder carrying heavy substances and participating to build a multi-story building This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:due to the factin light of the fact thatowing to the fact that
because
 he enjoyed his job. However
, after do not After the auxiliary verb 'do', use the base form of a verb. Did you mean "stop"?stop
stopping
 working he complicated his diabetes and took hospital, also
 broke his leg. Since my grandfather halted his job, he has been taking You use this word too often, consider replacing it withresponsibility
care
 of his You use this word too often, consider replacing it withenergystrengthwell-beingfitness
health
. Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?Also,
Also
 he The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "wishes", "wished".wisheswished
wish
 he This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :terminateceaseddiscontinued
stopped
 the work.

Furthermore
, it is vital to relax after long-term You use this word too often, consider replacing it withtaskindustrytrialjobproductionstruggle
work
 spending quality and fascinating You use this word too often, consider replacing it withpointgenerationpastsecondturnspace
time
 their children and grandchildren or travelling for You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
 aged 60 and more. For the reason that their mind is tired
. Thus
, in my opinion they should This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquire
get
 retired. Also
, they need to be Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "took", the past tense form of the verb 'take'?tooktaketakentakestalkedtasked
taked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withresponsibility
care
 by their children, due to that they are vulnerable as a child. For instance
, I frequently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :attain
meet
 and take You use this word too often, consider replacing it withresponsibility
care
 of my grandparents. They This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquire
get
exceptionally
 glad when I pay attention them. Therefore
, they This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :require
must
 not waste their less You use this word too often, consider replacing it withpointgenerationpastsecondturnspace
time
 by working.

In conclusion
, I hold the view that seniors looking after their You use this word too often, consider replacing it withenergystrengthwell-beingfitness
health
 and spend quality You use this word too often, consider replacing it withpointgenerationpastsecondturnspace
time
 with their family instead
 of working. Even they You use this word too often, consider replacing it withtaskindustrytrialjobproductionstruggle
work
, they cannot perform it properly
 due to You use this word too often, consider replacing it withenergystrengthwell-beingfitness
health
 issues and their Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraphstates.states!states?states:states,states;
states