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children nowadays have an unhealthy lifestyle? Can you explain why? What can we do to solve this problem?

children nowadays have an unhealthy lifestyle? Can you explain why? What can we do to solve this problem? EdPrD
It is the fact that most childrent in our modern era are get use to being lazy, which can lead to an unhealthy life. People are acknowledge that the development of teachnology has many beneficial for our life, but there are some disadvantages for childrent such as too dependent on digital devices that become bummers. They are afraid to do excerse while spending too much time playing games, watching movies, surfing the internet. Most childrent stay up late to chat with their friends and often lack sleep, which can cause many problems to their health. In my oppinion, the parent should not only pay more attention to their children but also raise their childrent awareness about the harmful effects of poor health, as a result, their children can adjust their lifestyle.
It is the fact that most
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrent
in our modern era are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
to being lazy, which can lead to an unhealthy life.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are acknowledge that the development of
Possible spelling mistake found.
teachnology
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
beneficial for our life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages for
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrent
such as too dependent on digital devices that become bummers. They are afraid to do
Possible spelling mistake found.
excerse
while spending too much time playing games, watching movies, surfing the internet. Most
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrent
stay up late to chat with their friends and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
lack sleep, which can cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems to their health. In my
Possible spelling mistake found.
oppinion
, the parent should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
pay more attention to their children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
raise their
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrent
awareness about the harmful effects of poor health,
as a result
, their children can adjust their lifestyle.

IELTS essay children nowadays have an unhealthy lifestyle? Can you explain why? What can we do to solve this problem?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
131 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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