Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that people should choose their job based on income in order to provide security to their families. Do you think money is an important factor when choosing a job? What other factors should be considered

It is argued by some people that individuals should prioritize salary when choosing an employment to comfort their families financially. In my opinion, the stipend is an extremely significant factor when deciding where to work. However, convenience and employment place environment are important too. Workers have to fulfil their housing needs. In addition, they have to pay off their debts. Every family relies on their working member to support them and provide for their food and other necessities. Graduates have huge loans, which they took to support their education, which they have to start clearing after getting a job. For example, average loan that a student has to return is two hundred thousand dollars. For these reasons, money should be kept in mind when deciding between different work options. Having a workplace nearby and office conditions are other important factors. If place of work is close to home, it would be convenient to get to and back without wasting time in transition. The Employer should be friendly and easy going to minimize mental and physical stress and have a balanced professional and personal life. According to a recent study published by Harvard University, more than 60 percent employees suffer from work-related stress. Therefore, easy accessibility and warm and hospitable working environment are key for job performance and satisfaction. In conclusion, some people argue that money should top the list when deciding employer to serve so that individuals are able to provide security to their families. In my opinion, finances are crucial and should be kept in mind, but, however, other circumstances should be looked upon such as location of employment place and workplace atmosphere.
It
is argued
by
some
people
that individuals should prioritize salary when choosing an employment to comfort their families
financially
. In my opinion, the stipend is an
extremely
significant factor when deciding where to work.
However
, convenience and employment place environment are
important
too.

Workers
have to
fulfil their housing needs.
In addition
, they
have to
pay off their debts. Every family relies on their working member to support them and provide for their food and other necessities. Graduates have huge loans, which they took to support their education, which they
have to
start
clearing after getting a job.
For example
, average loan that a student
has to
return is two hundred thousand dollars. For these reasons, money should be
kept
in mind when deciding between
different
work options.

Having a workplace nearby and office conditions are other
important
factors. If place of work is close to home, it would be convenient to
get
to and back without wasting time in transition. The Employer should be friendly and easy going to minimize mental and physical
stress
and have a balanced professional and personal life. According to a recent study published by Harvard University, more than 60 percent employees suffer from work-related
stress
.
Therefore
, easy accessibility and warm and hospitable working environment are key for job performance and satisfaction.

In conclusion
,
some
people
argue that money should top the list when deciding employer to serve
so
that individuals are able to provide security to their families. In my opinion, finances are crucial and should be
kept
in mind,
but
,
however
, other circumstances should
be looked
upon such as location of employment place and workplace atmosphere.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people think that people should choose their job based on income in order to provide security to their families. Do you think money is an important factor when choosing a job? What other factors should be considered

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts