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SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT PARENTS SHOULD TEACH CHILDREN HOW TO TO BE GOOD MEMBERS OF SOCIETY. OTHERS, HOWEVER, BELIEVE THAT SCHOOL IS THE PLACE TO LEARN THIS DISCUSS BOTH THESE VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OWN OPINION.

SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT PARENTS SHOULD TEACH CHILDREN HOW TO TO BE GOOD MEMBERS OF SOCIETY. OTHERS, HOWEVER, BELIEVE THAT SCHOOL IS THE PLACE TO LEARN THIS jdoNM
Some people believe that teaching children to be valuable members of the community should be the responsibility of the parents alone. Others think that school is a better place for them to learn this. I would argue that both of them play important roles in developing their manners and attitudes. First of all, children are considered to be the best " copy cats". From a young age, they learn from their loved ones the simplest things such as respecting to their grandparents, obeying the family's rules, and sharing their toys. Therefore, the parents always have a significant impact on their children. They must educate children to understand the need to obey laws, respect others, and especially share their values. Besides, they will be the first to help children learn valuable life lessons, how to treat others, and what role they will play in the world. In other words, if parents know how to teach their children well, children will be good citizens. On the flip side, not only does the family have a considerable influence on children, but the school also contributes to forming children's behaviors. When they go to school, they will encounter different types of people from a wide range of backgrounds from the wide society. Children will experience working and playing with many people, which teaches them how to cooperate and build a better community. All in all, both teachers and peers have as much influence as their loved ones do. By way of conclusion, it seems to me that to be a good member of society, both parents and teachers must be role models to children follow.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to be valuable members of the community should be the responsibility of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
alone. Others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that school is a better place for them to learn this. I would argue that both of them play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
roles in developing their manners and attitudes.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are considered
to be the best
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
copy cats
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
. From a young age, they learn from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
the simplest things such as respecting to their grandparents, obeying the family's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
, and sharing their toys.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
always have a significant impact on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to understand the need to obey laws, respect others, and
especially
share their values.
Besides
, they will be the
first
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn valuable life lessons, how to treat others, and what role they will play in the world. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
know how to teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
well,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
citizens.

On the flip side, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does the family have a considerable influence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the school
also
contributes to forming children's behaviors. When they go to school, they will encounter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from a wide range of backgrounds from the wide society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
will experience working and playing with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, which teaches them how to cooperate and build a better community. All in all, both teachers and peers have as much influence as their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
do.

By way of conclusion, it seems to me that to be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
member of society, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and teachers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be role models to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
follow.

IELTS essay SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT PARENTS SHOULD TEACH CHILDREN HOW TO TO BE GOOD MEMBERS OF SOCIETY. OTHERS, HOWEVER, BELIEVE THAT SCHOOL IS THE PLACE TO LEARN THIS

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT PARENTS SHOULD TEACH CHILDREN HOW TO TO BE GOOD MEMBERS OF SOCIETY. OTHERS, HOWEVER, BELIEVE THAT SCHOOL IS THE PLACE TO LEARN THIS DISCUSS BOTH THESE VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OWN OPINION.