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Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. xMrw
Children growing up are compared to a sponge with information, absorbing everything around them. Therefore they must learn good habits at a young age in order to become a contributing member of society. It is argued who is responsible for ensuring a child conducts themselves accordingly: the parents or the school? I believe it is the parent’s role. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument and share my opinion on the matter. Children spend a large proportion of their time within the class room, developing their core skills and integrating with other pupils. The framework is constructed so they behave in a civil manner and work collaboratively amongst one and other. If a teacher deems and behaviour not acceptable then they will be punished. This, in essence, is the school ensuring they understand the difference between what is right and wrong and hopefully teaching them a lesson not to do it again. Therefore the school plays a major part in developing a child for the future however once the final bell rings the school lets the child return home. On the other hand, a child returns to their home before and after school and lives with their parents. Therefore the parents have taught a child core principles prior to attending school, and are their to enforce these values when they return home from school. It would be accurate to say that a parent is overall responsible for their child and the child’s behaviour. For instance, if a teacher provides a report of a child behaviour they are providing feedback to the parent to either praise them if they are doing well or to assist them where the downfalls have been identified. In conclusion, it is both the school and parents role to provide a child with lessons to ensure they grow into a functioning member of society. However the overall responsibility lies with the parent of the child.
Children growing up
are compared
to a sponge with information, absorbing everything around them.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
learn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
habits at a young age in order to become a contributing member of society. It
is argued
who is responsible for ensuring a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
conducts themselves
accordingly
: the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
? I believe it is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent’s
role. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument and share my opinion on the matter.

Children spend a large proportion of their time within the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
room, developing their core
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and integrating with other pupils. The framework
is constructed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they behave
Consider replacing "in a civil manner" with the adverb for "civil"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a civil manner
and work
collaboratively
amongst one and other. If a teacher deems and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
not acceptable then they will
be punished
. This, in essence, is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
ensuring they understand the difference between what is right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
and
hopefully
teaching them a lesson not to do it again.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
plays a major part in developing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
for the future
however
once the final bell rings the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lets
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
return home.

On the other hand
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
returns to their home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
and after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have taught a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
core principles prior to attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, and are their to enforce these values when they return home from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. It would be accurate to say that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
is
overall
responsible for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
For instance
, if a teacher provides a report of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
they are providing feedback to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
to either praise them if they are doing well or to assist them where the downfalls have
been identified
.

In conclusion
, it is both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
role to provide a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
with lessons to ensure they grow into a functioning member of society.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
the
overall
responsibility lies with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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