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In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes?

In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes? jmBX
Survey reports show that the number of crimes in many countries has been rising for the last decade, which has had a negative impact on people’s lives and mental health. It is necessary that we analyse the cause of this disturbing problem and explore the effective solutions. There are various factors that lead to the situation. Firstly, with the popularization of the Internet, the types of crimes are increasing, such as stealing users’ personal information for fraud or organizing illegal activities through social media. Secondly, the increase in the gap between the rich and the poor, as well as the rise of the unemployment rate have forced some poor people to take risks in order to survive. Thirdly, due to the civilization of society and the improvement of prisoners’ treatment, going to jail does not mean a warning to some criminals. There is no doubt that reducing the crime rate is crucial to building a harmonious society. First of all, governments should use Big Data to prevent crime, and at the same time strengthen legal education for the public. Furthermore, it is advisable that governments give more consideration to poor citizens when making policies, and provide them with basic life needs or vocational training. Last but not least, prison is a place for punishment and correction, not a place for holidays. It should be stricter to reduce the possibility of offenders committing a crime again after being released from prison. To sum up, living in a safe and healthy society is vital for everyone. Governments should take their responsibilities to make the right policy and promote public awareness of the law. And I believe with the joint efforts of individuals and governments, the amount of crime will decrease in the next few years.
Survey reports
show
that the number of
crimes
in
many
countries has been rising for the last decade, which has had a
negative
impact on
people
’s
lives
and mental health. It is necessary that we
analyse
the cause of this disturbing problem and explore the effective solutions.

There are various factors that lead to the situation.
Firstly
, with the popularization of the Internet, the types of
crimes
are increasing, such as stealing users’ personal information for fraud or organizing illegal activities through social media.
Secondly
, the increase in the gap between the rich and the poor,
as well
as the rise of the unemployment rate have forced
some
poor
people
to take
risks
in order to survive.
Thirdly
, due to the civilization of society and the improvement of prisoners’ treatment, going to jail does not mean a warning to
some
criminals.

There is no doubt that reducing the
crime
rate is crucial to building a harmonious society.
First of all
,
governments
should
use
Big
Data to
prevent
crime
, and at the same time strengthen legal education for the public.
Furthermore
, it is advisable that
governments
give more consideration to poor citizens when making policies, and provide them with basic life needs or vocational training. Last
but
not least, prison is a place for punishment and correction, not a place for holidays. It should be stricter to
reduce
the possibility of offenders committing a
crime
again after
being released
from prison.

To sum up, living in a safe and healthy society is vital for everyone.
Governments
should take their responsibilities to
make
the right policy and promote public awareness of the law. And I believe with the joint efforts of individuals and
governments
, the amount of
crime
will decrease in the
next
few years.
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IELTS essay In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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