Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. B6Dw
It is often believed that it is more beneficial for the development of children to have outdoor activities compared to indoor activity which is playing computer games. Although playing computer games might have several advantages for children, I agree that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children's development. To begin with, there are several reasons that proving outdoor activities benefits towars children's development. The primary reason is that playing outside make children know more about the world. In other words, children can experience directly about the world environment through outdoor activities instead of staying home and know nothing about the world conditions. To illustrates, children who play outside can learn directly about the learning materials thaught by the adults about the world. As a result, they can prove that the theories they have been taught are real because they can experienced it them selves. Secondly, the most obvious reason is that children who are doing activities outside are more skilled in communication compared to children who are playing games inside their houses. This happened because children who played outside could met each other and interacted. This means that they learnt how to communicate with people their age and even older or younger than them. Moreover, they will become friendly to people and sociable when they become teenagers because they already used to it since they were children. Whereas children who are computer games players commonly grow up to be a shy and introvert people, children who are doing outside activities mostly will have many friends and will gain more experience due to their sociable and brave skills. In conclusion, although children who are playing computer games might have several positivity, outdoor activities are more beneficial for children's development, and I agree. There are a number of reasons that can prove outdoor activities benefits towards children's development.
It is
often
believed that it is more beneficial for the
development
of
children
to have
outdoor
activities
compared to indoor
activity
which is
playing
computer
games
. Although
playing
computer
games
might have several advantages for
children
, I
agree
that
outdoor
activities
are more beneficial for
children's
development.

To
begin
with, there are several
reasons
that proving
outdoor
activities
benefits
towars
children's
development
. The primary
reason
is that
playing
outside
make
children
know more about the
world
.
In other words
,
children
can experience
directly
about the
world
environment through
outdoor
activities
instead
of staying home and know nothing about the
world
conditions. To illustrates,
children
who
play
outside
can learn
directly
about the learning materials
thaught
by the adults about the
world
.
As a result
, they can prove that the theories they have
been taught
are real
because
they can
experienced
it
them selves
.

Secondly
, the most obvious
reason
is that
children
who
are doing
activities
outside
are more skilled in communication compared to
children
who
are
playing
games
inside their
houses
. This happened
because
children
who
played
outside
could
met
each other and interacted. This means that they
learnt
how to communicate with
people
their age and even older or younger than them.
Moreover
, they will become friendly to
people
and sociable when they become
teenagers
because
they already
used
to it since they were
children
. Whereas
children
who
are computer
games
players
commonly
grow up to be a shy and introvert
people
,
children
who
are doing
outside
activities
mostly
will have
many
friends and will gain more experience due to their sociable and brave
skills
.

In conclusion
, although
children
who
are
playing
computer
games
might have
several positivity
,
outdoor
activities
are more beneficial for
children's
development
, and I
agree
. There are a number of
reasons
that can prove
outdoor
activities
benefits towards
children's
development
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts