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Some people think that new technologies benefit the life of workers whereas some deny the statement. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people think that new technologies benefit the life of workers whereas some deny the statement. eEp6p
Upcoming technology has more positive impact than a negative one when it comes to the purpose of improving employee’s life. With the help of technology, workers are able to work more efficiently which in turns improve their mental stability. Some machine save so much time that the workers are able to plan their work in the way that suit their schedule. For example, if a computer does not exist, a lone restaurant owner will not be able to take in a large number of orders at the same time while actually cooking. Writing orders by hands increasing the chance of making mistake of messing up customer's order and that is not a good look. Machines rarely make mistake compared to human and that's why technology save people form having a headache. Working more stress-free is very good for people because they are less likely to bring back negative energy into the house after work day is over. Regardless, technology can also be worker's enemy since it can malfunction and put workers at unnecessarily risk. Moreover, technology is a perfect replacement in a way and and human workers might not be needed. For the case of machine malfunction, people loose their limbs all the time in factories that use human-assisted machines. Plus, worker's protective laws are not string enough if unexpected incidents happens. On the other hand, machine can potentially decrease employment rate since it's more effective than human in some aspect. As human, being unemployed is a nightmare. People still have to feed their family so machine replacement is definitely not what they want.
Upcoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact than a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
one when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the purpose of improving employee’s life.

With the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
are able to work more
efficiently
which in turns
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their mental stability.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
Did you mean "machines"?
machine
save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much time that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
are able to plan their work in the way that suit their schedule.
For example
, if a computer does not exist, a lone restaurant owner will not be able to take in
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
orders at the same time while actually cooking. Writing orders by hands increasing the chance of making mistake of messing up customer's order and
that is
not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
look.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Machines
rarely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
mistake compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
and that's why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
form having a headache. Working more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-free is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are less likely to bring back
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
energy into the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
after work day is over.

Regardless,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can
also
be worker's enemy since it can malfunction and put
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
at
unnecessarily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is a perfect replacement in a way
Possible typo: you repeated a word
and and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
might not
be needed
. For the case of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
malfunction,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Did you mean "lose" (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
loose
their limbs all the time in factories that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
human-assisted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
. Plus, worker's protective laws are not string
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
if unexpected incidents happens.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
can
potentially
decrease employment rate since it's more effective than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
aspect. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
,
being unemployed
is a nightmare.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
feed their family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
replacement is definitely not what they want.
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IELTS essay Some people think that new technologies benefit the life of workers whereas some deny the statement.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
264 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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