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Some people think that music plays an important role in society. Others think it is simply a form of entertainment. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people think that music plays an important role in society. Others think it is simply a form of entertainment. PpRJ
To express emotions such as delight or sadness, most people use various songs as their personal blog’s background music. Although music can convey the climax of a movie, it just an optional function to give tension. Music is vital at many parties, and people usually listen to music while running at a park. However, all those purposes are only for pleasure. Thus, no matter how many different types of music people use in their daily lives, music is just one form of typical entertainments.
To express emotions such as delight or sadness, most
people
use
various songs as their personal blog’s background music.

Although
music
can convey the climax of a movie, it
just
an optional function to give tension.

Music is vital at
many
parties, and
people
usually
listen to
music
while running at a

park.
However
, all those purposes are
only
for pleasure.

Thus
, no matter how
many
different
types of
music
people
use
in their daily
lives
,
music
is
just
one form of typical entertainments.
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IELTS essay Some people think that music plays an important role in society. Others think it is simply a form of entertainment.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
84 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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