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Parents should let children have the freedom to choose the careers they wish to pursue. Give your views for or against this statement.

Parents should let children have the freedom to choose the careers they wish to pursue. Give your views for or against this statement. VBm5J
Many parents often worry about their child's future and try to make a conscientious attempt to instruct their child in the best possible manner. Every person has different likes and dislikes, and is better at certain crafts than others. I agree with the statement that young people should have the freedom to choose their careers to help them achieve better outcomes in their profession. While it is understandable that parents would want to give some guidance on their children's future to help them, they shouldn't force their opinion on their offspring. Children should be able to choose their occupations freely since every kid is born different and has their likes and interests. Every parent dreams of making their child financially stable, or have jobs that will impact society positively in some way. These wishes of the parents are normal and good but this may become troubling when these desires are turned into expectations. When children are given the freedom to choose the careers they desire, it encourages them to study and work harder as well as gives them a sense of responsibility and independence. However, when parents push their kids towards a particular career, the main motivation for the child is suddenly turned into fear. The fear of disappointing. On their parents. Yet, offering freedom to a child does not imply that the parents should be completely absent. On the contrary, parents should talk to their children about career decisions. If the child chooses his/her job by themselves, they are more likely to not give up their profession either, since they gain more satisfaction from work they chose to do. On the other hand, if they were forced to choose an uninterested job, it would most likely be stressful to continue and they are more likely to leave that position. Therefore, the freedom to choose occupations will lead to job stability for the child. On the other hand, some children are not able to decide which occupation stream to choose or they might be confused between two or more professions. In this case, parents should help the child decide since they have seen the pros and cons of most professions. Parents should encourage healthy open communication about career choices since children might lack knowledge about the difficulties of certain jobs. But the ultimate choice should lie with the child. To conclude, I strongly believe that young people should be given the freedom and privilege to choose their own livelihood. When young people are passionate about a particular career, they would progress into their chosen field with their whole heart and will gain satisfaction from their work.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
worry about their child's future and try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a conscientious attempt to instruct their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
in the best possible manner. Every person has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
likes and dislikes, and is better at certain crafts than others. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them achieve better outcomes in their profession.

While it is understandable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
would want to give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
guidance on their children's future to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them, they shouldn't force their opinion on their offspring.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
should be able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
their occupations
freely
since every kid
is born
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
and has their likes and interests. Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
dreams of making their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
financially
stable, or have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that will impact society
positively
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
way. These wishes of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are normal and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this may become troubling when these desires
are turned
into expectations.

When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
they desire, it encourages them to study and work harder
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
well as gives them a sense of responsibility and independence.
However
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
push their kids towards a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
, the main motivation for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is
suddenly
turned into fear. The fear of disappointing. On their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Yet
, offering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
does not imply that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should be completely absent.
On the contrary
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should talk to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
decisions.

If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chooses
his/her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
by themselves, they are more likely to not give up their profession either, since they gain more satisfaction from work they chose to do.
On the other hand
, if they
were forced
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
an uninterested
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, it would most likely be stressful to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
continue and
they are more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
that position.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
occupations will lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
stability for the child.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are not able to decide which occupation stream to
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
choose or
they might
be confused
between two or more professions.
In this case
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
decide since they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
the pros and cons of most professions.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
should encourage healthy open communication about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
choices since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
might lack knowledge about the difficulties of certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the ultimate choice should lie with the child.

To conclude
, I
strongly
believe that young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
and privilege to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
livelihood. When young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are passionate about a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
, they would progress into their chosen field with their whole heart and will gain satisfaction from their work.
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IELTS essay Parents should let children have the freedom to choose the careers they wish to pursue. Give your views for or against this statement.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
436 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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