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Some people think that money is the most important factor in promoting happiness. Do you think people can be happy without money? What other factors contribute towards happiness?

Some people think that money is the most important factor in promoting happiness. Do you think people can be happy without money? What other factors contribute towards happiness? bJl6
Nobody would dispute the fact that money has always had a big influence over mankind. Many people believe that it is impossible for an individual to live a happy life without having substantial finances. However, I have an opinion that money is not the sole factor that contributes towards happiness (and it is quite possible to live a happy life without it) as there are other factors that bring delight to one’s life, including experience from reaching affluence itself and pursuing your dream. It is possible to live a delightful life full of bright memories even without significant financial resources. It is proven by the fact that there are many instances of people who are happy although they follow a humble lifestyle. One clear example is the President of Uruguay, who is living in his small house like middle class people in this state. Moreover, there are other constituents of life that contribute to happiness. If people lose their high income, two factors will likely still remain in their life regardless of the financial situation. Namely, they are life experiences and happy memories. These two will help one to stay happy and keep their head up in difficult situations. Furthermore, many people find the path of improving themselves more valuable than the result (that is affluence), since they genuinely enjoy their work and professional occupation. For them money is simply a resource or tool that makes it more convenient to run their businesses. In conclusion, as it was discussed in this essay, the example of many people suggests that it is possible to live a happy life without much money, and professional improvement and gaining new skills are also significant contributors to one’s happiness.
Nobody would dispute the fact that
money
has always had a
big
influence over mankind.
Many
people
believe that it is impossible for an individual to
live
a
happy
life
without having substantial finances.
However
, I have an opinion that
money
is not the sole factor that contributes towards happiness (and it is quite possible to
live
a
happy
life
without it) as there are other factors that bring delight to one’s
life
, including experience from reaching affluence itself and pursuing your dream.

It is possible to
live
a delightful
life
full of bright memories even without significant financial resources. It
is proven
by the fact that there are
many
instances of
people
who are
happy
although they follow a humble lifestyle. One
clear
example is the President of Uruguay, who is living in his
small
house
like middle
class
people
in this state.

Moreover
, there are other constituents of
life
that contribute to happiness. If
people
lose their high income, two factors will likely
still
remain in their
life
regardless of the financial situation.
Namely
, they are
life
experiences and
happy
memories. These two will
help
one to stay
happy
and
keep
their head up in difficult situations.
Furthermore
,
many
people
find the path of improving themselves more valuable than the result (
that is
affluence), since they
genuinely
enjoy their work and professional occupation. For them
money
is
simply
a resource or tool that
makes
it more convenient to run their businesses.

In conclusion
, as it
was discussed
in this essay, the example of
many
people
suggests that it is possible to
live
a
happy
life
without much
money
, and professional improvement and gaining new
skills
are
also
significant contributors to one’s happiness.
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IELTS essay Some people think that money is the most important factor in promoting happiness. Do you think people can be happy without money? What other factors contribute towards happiness?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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