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Some people think that money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness. Do you think people can be happy without much money? What other factors contribute towards happiness?

Some people think that money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness. Do you think people can be happy without much money? What other factors contribute towards happiness? LjXV
There is a thought by many people about whether money is one of the most cruicial operator to achieve the happiness. In my opinion, money role in the life depends extremelly on the type of life that person would like to have. In addition, there are several factors can promote happiness will be explained later. First of all, as people have various needs and goals, the life style we would like to live in the future differe from each other, in consequent, the amount of money is needed to achieve our aims and be happy will be different from one person to another. For instatnce, a person who is looking forword a simple and typical life such as have a normal house, with a personal car and purchse basic products will not need much amount of money like one who dreams to complete his academic study in famous and expensive university such as St andrews in UK. From this point, people will be happy with their needed amount of money, but not with money less than they need. Money is considred as one of the most essantial factor to create happiness, however, this does not mean that there is not any other operators play a key role in making people pleasure. What I mean is that, have a stable family without any problems among parents, live in a beautiful area where you know many friendly neighbours, moreover have a good friend who will support and motivate you in your life, all of these things contribute towards happiness. To sum up, people needs and purposes determin the extent of their happienss if they have not much amount of money. In addition, the most important things people must aware are that, money is not the only mehod to bting happines, but there are various things if we have we will be happier than other such as a good family and lovely friends.
There is a
thought
by
many
people
about whether
money
is one of the most
cruicial
operator to achieve the happiness. In my opinion,
money
role in the
life
depends
extremelly
on the type of
life
that person would like to have.
In addition
, there are several factors can promote happiness will be
explained
later.

First of all
, as
people
have various needs and goals, the
life
style we would like to
live
in the future
differe
from each other, in consequent, the
amount
of
money
is needed
to achieve our aims and be happy will be
different
from one person to another. For
instatnce
, a person who is looking
forword
a simple and typical
life
such as have a normal
house
, with a personal car and
purchse
basic products will not need much
amount
of
money
like one who dreams to complete his academic study in
famous
and expensive university such as St
andrews
in UK. From this point,
people
will be happy with their needed
amount
of
money
,
but
not with
money
less than they need.

Money is
considred
as one of the most
essantial
factor to create happiness,
however
, this does not mean that there is not any other operators play a key role in making
people
pleasure. What I mean is that, have a stable family without any problems among parents,
live
in a
beautiful
area where you know
many
friendly
neighbours
,
moreover
have a
good
friend who will support and motivate you in your
life
, all of these things contribute towards happiness.

To sum up,
people
needs
and purposes
determin
the extent of their
happienss
if they have not much
amount
of
money
.
In addition
, the most
important
things
people
must
aware are that,
money
is not the
only
mehod
to
bting
happines
,
but
there are various things if we have we will be happier than other such as a
good
family and lovely friends.
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IELTS essay Some people think that money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness. Do you think people can be happy without much money? What other factors contribute towards happiness?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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