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Some people say now there is less communication between family members than in the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say now there is less communication between family members than in the past. B6bV
It is thought by some people that the communication between family members has deteriorated recently. In my opinion, I completely agree with this statement because of extended work hours and geographical separation. Firstly, young professionals spend the majority of their day working rather than hanging out with their family, especially their parents. In the past, the average working schedule was less than 40 hours per week, so people had spare time on meeting their parents. However, this is no longer a lifestyle at the moment. Young workers usually work over 40 hours a week, which leaves them less time chatting with their parents. Hence, instead of calling their mothers and fathers, they would rather rest when they get home. Another point to consider is that living far away from other family members discourages people to get in touch. Due to the long-distance transmission which is often less effective than a face-to-face conversation, it decreases the excitement of having a conversation with other family members. In other words, both parties involving in the discussion feel less attached because they cannot see others' body language which is crucial for effective communication. As a result, people do not want to communicate frequently when they live apart from each other. Although technology helps to bridge the gaps of far distance conversation, such as Zoom, Skype, or Whatsapp, it does not make people feel closer in the discussion because they cannot touch each other or feel others’ emotions. This makes the conversation less real. In conclusion, family members put in much less effort meeting family members due to long hours of work and locations. In the future, technology will hopefully encourage the family to connect with others.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that the communication between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
has deteriorated recently. In my opinion, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of extended work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
and geographical separation.

Firstly
, young professionals spend the majority of their day working
rather
than hanging out with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
,
especially
their parents. In the past, the average working schedule was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
than 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
per week,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had spare time on meeting their parents.
However
, this is no longer a lifestyle at the moment. Young workers
usually
work over 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
a week, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
time chatting with their parents.
Hence
,
instead
of calling their mothers and fathers, they would
rather
rest when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
home.

Another point to consider is that living far away from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
discourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in touch. Due to the long-distance transmission which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
effective than a face-to-face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conversation
, it decreases the excitement of having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conversation
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, both parties involving in the discussion feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
attached
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
others' body language which is crucial for effective communication.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not want to communicate
frequently
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
apart from each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. Although technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to bridge the gaps of far distance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conversation
, such as Zoom, Skype, or
Possible spelling mistake found.
Whatsapp
, it does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel closer in the discussion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they cannot touch each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
or feel others’ emotions. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conversation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
real.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
put in much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
effort meeting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
due to long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of work and locations. In the future, technology will
hopefully
encourage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
to connect with others.
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IELTS essay Some people say now there is less communication between family members than in the past.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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