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some people think that modern technology will bring new problems than benefit. do you agree or disagree?

some people think that modern technology will bring new problems than benefit. e5boJ
The Contemporary world has been revolutionized with innovative modern machinery. Many people believe that the advent of modern machinery will create new complications rather than advantages. I totally disagree with the above notion as automation has simplified the life by providing easy access to the mode of transport and communication. Modern machinery has always been a helping hand for humans. The discovery of Aeroplanes, cars and other means of transport has made travel and tourism much simpler contrary to what it was 20 years back. Now anyone can travel across the globe in a day, which used to take months before the discovery of planes. For instance an experiment done by Princeton college London on the people of age group of 50-75 revealed that 90% of people believe their life have become comfortable with technological advancements as compared to what they lived as teenagers and kids. Communication plays a pivotal role in today's era. Mobile phones, and internet have revamped the society. Interaction around the globe has become so easier and fast that its benefits cannot be explicitly said. For Example Statistics on the Internet and mobile phone usage revealed by Google, shows that 87% people admits that 16 hours of their day is invested in exploiting varied technologies. Modern automation is playing an inevitable role in human life. In conclusion, I would advocate that the benefits of modern equipment outweigh its drawback. Hence the use of innovation should be extolled. In the coming years more advancements will be done.
The Contemporary world has
been revolutionized
with innovative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
machinery.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the advent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
machinery will create new complications
rather
than advantages. I
totally
disagree with the above notion as automation has simplified the life by providing easy access to the mode of transport and communication.

Modern machinery has always been a helping hand for humans. The discovery of
Possible spelling mistake. 'Aeroplanes' is British English.
Aeroplanes
, cars and other means of transport has made travel and tourism much simpler contrary to what it was 20 years back.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
anyone can travel across the globe in a day, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to take months
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the discovery of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
.
For instance
an experiment done by Princeton college London on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of age group of 50-75 revealed that 90% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe their life have become comfortable with technological advancements as compared to what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
and kids.

Communication plays a pivotal role in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's era. Mobile phones, and internet have revamped the society. Interaction around the globe has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
easier and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
that its benefits cannot be
explicitly
said.
For Example
Statistics on the Internet and mobile phone usage revealed by Google,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that 87%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
admits
that 16 hours of their day
is invested
in exploiting varied technologies.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Modern
automation is playing an inevitable role in human life.

In conclusion
, I would advocate that the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
equipment outweigh its drawback.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of innovation should
be extolled
. In the coming years more advancements will
be done
.
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IELTS essay some people think that modern technology will bring new problems than benefit.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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