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Discuss: Is money the most important thing in life?

Discuss: Is money the most important thing in life? yXDJP
These days, money plays a pivotal role in our lives. Most of the people believe that money is more valuable asset than other necessities of life. Nevertheless, it is highly debatable whether it is more important than other considerations, such as family and health, which some people consider to be of greater significance. First and foremost, it is often argued that money is an essential commodity that helps us run our life. If money is utilized in an appropriate way, such as better quality of life and education, which will help us become responsible and decent human being. Moreover, one of the best usages of money is to help people who are really in real need. Charity and voluntarily helping others will bring immense pleasure in lives. To keep society and communities in good shape money has to be rotated to fulfil needs of all people. As a consequence, money can be seen as the most vital factor in our daily life. On the other hand, many people claim that health is of greater importance than money. Mahatma Gandhi said “It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver”. We cannot enjoy money or any other aspect of life if our health is compromised. In spite of the fact that money can pay for the best medical treatment and afford annual medical check-up, this is no guarantee of a longer life. Besides, from my perspective, when money becomes the most important in our life, people always have a tendency to forget other values. For instance, without family, who will be there to enjoy your wealth with us. Family will always be there for us, although we have any troubles or we are in any difficult situations. In conclusion, money is one of the elements of lead content life but it is not the only factor. The right usage to fulfil basic needs and keeping other factors intact contributes towards worthy living.
These days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
plays a pivotal role in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is more valuable asset than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
necessities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Nevertheless
, it is
highly
debatable whether it is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
considerations, such as family and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider to be of greater significance.

First
and foremost, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is an essential commodity that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us run our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is utilized
Consider replacing "in an appropriate way" with the adverb for "appropriate"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an appropriate way
, such as better quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and education, which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us become responsible and decent human being.
Moreover
, one of the best usages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are
really
in real need. Charity and
voluntarily
helping others will bring immense pleasure in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
society and communities in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
shape
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be rotated
to fulfil needs of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. As a consequence,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as the most vital factor in our daily life.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is of greater importance than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. Mahatma Gandhi said “It is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
that is
real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver”. We cannot enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
or any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
aspect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
if our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is compromised
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can pay for the best medical treatment and afford annual medical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
-up, this is no guarantee of a longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Besides
, from my perspective, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
becomes the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always have a tendency to forget
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
values.
For instance
, without family, who will be there to enjoy your wealth with us. Family will always be there for us, although we have any
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
troubles or
we are in any difficult situations.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is one of the elements of lead content
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
factor. The right usage to fulfil basic needs and keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factors intact contributes towards worthy living.
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IELTS essay Discuss: Is money the most important thing in life?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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