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Some people think that modern games can help children develop a wide range of skills, but others argue that traditional games can be much better for developing such skills. What is your opinion?

Some people think that modern games can help children develop a wide range of skills, but others argue that traditional games can be much better for developing such skills. What is your opinion? 0A6N3
Gaming has gradually been one of the most common leisure activities in this modern society due to recent advances in technology. This has created a controversial topic over whether it would be better for children to develop a variety of skills by playing modern games or traditional ones. In my opinion, I would agree with those who support the former. To begin with, it is a fact that modern games offer children, many chances to gain several necessary skills. Firstly, it would improve a child’s problem-solving skills in some ways. It seems that almost every game nowadays has its own rules that players have to comply with. As a result, the player has to think it over before deciding what to do next so as to make sure that they do not break the required rules of that game. Simultaneously, this also gives way to decision making skills as sometimes children have to make quick choices for some unexpected situations in games. For example, a game that would improve these two skills is Temple Run. To win this game, the player has to escape the pursuit of a monster by running fast. While running, there would be quite many turning points and obstacles that he has to overcome by making quick decisions. In this case, his brain’s function is enhanced to accomplish the assignments without infringing the game’s rules. Secondly, playing modern games can also enhance multitasking skills which is defined as the ability to perform several tasks at the same time. In other words, it helps players to be extremely observant. There are many games that require children to be able to move their joystick, or press the right button while paying attention to other factors such as energy levels or available time. This may benefit children in the long run, becoming a blessing for their future career as it increases their productivity at accomplishing the tasks given. However, many people claim that these aforementioned skills can also be developed with traditional ones. For example, problem solving skills and decision making skills can be enhanced by playing the game Mandarin square capturing (O An Quan). To win this game, the player has to distribute the pebbles one by one to each square. If he has his last pebble dropped into an empty square, he will win all the pebbles in the next one. This requires smart choices to be the winner. In this case, I believe that modern games would be better as it has a large number of levels with increasing difficulties, different problems and unexpected obstacles that would make the brain work harder to find the best solution. Also, it seems to most children that modern games are much more interesting so they will focus on their game more than traditional ones, which means they can develop their focus skills better. Multitasking skills may also be developed better by gaming due to its endless creativity compared to the traditional games whose rules are still simple. In short, although both modern games and traditional ones can be beneficial for the development of children, modern ones would work better as it is much more developed than the old fashioned ones. However, playing too many games on computers or televisions can lead to addiction or some health detriments so parents need to care for how long their child play.
Gaming has
gradually
been one of the most common leisure activities in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
society due to recent advances in technology. This has created a controversial topic over whether it would be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to develop a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
. In my opinion, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those who support the former.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is a fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
chances to gain several necessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
Firstly
, it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
a child’s problem-solving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways. It seems that almost every game nowadays has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
comply with.
As a result
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it over
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
deciding what to do
next
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that they do not break the required
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
of that game.
Simultaneously
, this
also
gives way to
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
quick choices for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unexpected situations in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
For example
, a game that would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
these two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
is Temple Run. To win this game, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
escape the pursuit of a monster by running
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
. While running, there would be quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
turning points and obstacles that he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
overcome by making quick decisions.
In this case
, his brain’s function
is enhanced
to accomplish the assignments without infringing the game’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can
also
enhance multitasking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
which
is defined
as the ability to perform several tasks at the same time.
In other words
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
to be
extremely
observant. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
that require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
their joystick, or press the right button while paying attention to other factors such as energy levels or available time. This may benefit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in the long run, becoming a blessing for their future career as it increases their productivity at accomplishing the tasks
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that these aforementioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
can
also
be developed
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
.
For example
, problem solving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
can
be enhanced
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
the game Mandarin square capturing (O An
Possible spelling mistake found.
Quan
). To win this game, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
distribute the pebbles one by one to each square. If he has his last pebble dropped into an empty square, he will win all the pebbles in the
next
one. This requires smart choices to be the winner.
In this case
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
would be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
as it has
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
levels with increasing difficulties,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
problems and unexpected obstacles that would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the brain work harder to find the best solution.
Also
, it seems to most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are much more interesting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they will focus on their game more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
, which means they can develop their focus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
. Multitasking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
may
also
be developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
by gaming due to its endless creativity compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
whose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
are
still
simple.

In short, although both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
can be beneficial for the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
would work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
as it is much more developed than the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
old fashioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
on computers or televisions can lead to addiction or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
health detriments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
parents need to care for how long their child play.
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IELTS essay Some people think that modern games can help children develop a wide range of skills, but others argue that traditional games can be much better for developing such skills. What is your opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
559 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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