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Some people think that men are naturally more competitive than women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is commonly believed that men are more competitive than women. I wholeheartedly agree with this statement owing to the physical body of men, as well as their interests in sports. To embark with, men body structure differs from women in all aspects. In other words, from physical perspectives, men tend to have a much stronger body and well being that allow them be up front to daily challenges and obstacles. For example, the average hours spent by men in work exceeds significantly women's figures. Another reason is the interests of each gender. Since childhood, men are way more anxious about sports and other competitive activities than women. This would result in the development of the competitive instinct for men considerably more than women. Therefore, men will have a leverage in competitive skills going forward, and this is evident in the numbers of sports including men compared to the other gender. To conclude, although women are showing a competitive attitude nowadays, but men still have the preference.
It is
commonly
believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitive
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
. I
wholeheartedly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement owing to the physical body of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
,
as well
as their interests in sports.

To embark with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
body structure differs from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in all aspects.
In other words
, from physical perspectives,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
tend to have a much stronger body and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them
Please check whether 'to' is missing here (to allow to do something).
be
up front to daily challenges and obstacles.
For example
, the average hours spent by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
in work exceeds
significantly
women's figures.

Another reason is the interests of each gender. Since childhood,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
are way more anxious about sports and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitive
activities than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
. This would result in the development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitive
instinct for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
considerably
more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
will have a leverage in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
going forward, and this is evident in the numbers of sports including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
compared to the other gender.

To conclude
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are showing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitive
attitude nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
still
have the preference.
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IELTS essay Some people think that men are naturally more competitive than women.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
167 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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