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Some people think that living in big cities is bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and give any relevant example or experience you have to support your answer.

Some people think that living in big cities is bad for people’s health. Kw58R
It is perceived by many that metropolitan cities are ominous for our well-being as opposed to living in rural areas. While the former offers a hectic lifestyle and have much more pollution, the latter grants a tranquil and favourable environment for our physical and psychological benefits. I completely agree with this viewpoint for several reasons. Firstly, almost all big cities have an intolerable level of air, sound and environmental pollutions primarily due to the increasing number of vehicles, carbon emission, wastages of industries, metro facilities and amenities for a modern lifestyle. On top of that, the population density in big cities is much higher, and it creates an unhealthy living standard in many parts. Finally, people in big cities often rely on processed food as they are busy. This unhealthy food habit, along with pollution, emerges as a serious threat to their health in the long run. For instance, more than 60 per cent of school students in large municipalities in developing countries are exposed to a higher level of air and sound pollutions and eat junk food which severely affects their physical and mental health. Secondly, it is generally known that stresses in metropolises are considerably higher due to many factors. One of the main factors is the long working hours. Secondly, living costs in big cities are high. Although people earn higher in metro areas, their salaries, oftentimes, do not meet their needs and expectations, which adversely impact their psychology. Long working hours combined with severe traffic jams consume their time and they have little time left to spend with their families. To conclude, it is inevitable that pollution, stress and unhealthy food jeopardize people’s health in big cities, and this is why it is justified to state that living in large cities is damaging for people's well-being.
It
is perceived
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that metropolitan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are ominous for our well-being as opposed to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in rural areas. While the former offers a hectic lifestyle and have much more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
, the latter grants a tranquil and
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
environment for our physical and psychological benefits. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this viewpoint for several reasons.

Firstly
, almost all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
have an intolerable level of air, sound and environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollutions
primarily
due to the increasing number of vehicles, carbon emission,
Possible spelling mistake found.
wastages
of industries, metro facilities and amenities for a modern lifestyle.
On top of that
, the population density in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is much higher, and it creates an unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
standard in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts.
Finally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
rely on processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
as they are busy. This unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
habit, along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
, emerges as a serious threat to their health in the long run.
For instance
, more than 60 per cent of school students in large municipalities in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
are exposed
to a higher level of air and sound
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollutions
and eat junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
which
severely
affects their physical and mental health.

Secondly
, it is
generally
known that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stresses
in metropolises are
considerably
higher due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors. One of the main factors is the long working hours.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
costs in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are high. Although
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
earn higher in metro areas, their salaries, oftentimes, do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their needs and expectations, which
adversely
impact their psychology. Long working hours combined with severe traffic jams consume their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
time and
they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
to spend with their families.

To conclude
, it is inevitable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
jeopardize
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s health in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, and this is why it
is justified
to state that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is damaging for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's well-being.
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Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay Some people think that living in big cities is bad for people’s health.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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