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Some People Think That Large, Impressive Buildings Are Important For A City. Others Believe That The Money Should Be Spent On Improving Schools And Hospitals. Discuss Both These Views And Give Your Own Opinion

Some People Think That Large, Impressive Buildings Are Important For A City. Others Believe That The Money Should Be Spent On Improving Schools And Hospitals. Discuss Both These Views And Give Your Own Opinion xmVQo
Nowadays, a lot of impressive buildings are constructed in many countries. They are considered tourist attractions. But other people believe that hospitals and schools need more attention from the government. They are less noticeable, this does not mean they are less essential. I think both of them should be invested to develop. An impressive building can contribute to a city in several different ways. First of all, they bring benefits from tourism. When you visit any country, you notice the building that stands out. Tourists who want to see these buildings are willing to spend money. This brings income to local citizens. Secondly, the buildings can hold large-scale significant functions or events such as concerts, exhibitions. Additionally, an impressive building can become a city’s icon. On the other hand, others say that it is just to waste money on harmful things because it will not influence folklife. It is better if the money is used to improve health services and education facility numbers improving the quality of human life. The quality of human life depends on health status and education status. For instance, firstly, if many folks are getting sick they will suffer and do not do the activity as usual to survive their life. If it happens automatically they need a hospital where they can be cured. Secondly, the folk needs education facility for studying to make them smart as preparation to face the world and their future such as maintaining their health, looking for a job, educating their family, using the high technology and others. In my conclusion, I agree that education and health are more important than identity. But, today the characteristic can make money to help a person healthy and educated. For this reason, I think it will be better if engineers construct every building wisely-include hospitals and schools. In the end, all buildings will be impressive and helpful for all sectors.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impressive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are constructed
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries. They
are considered
tourist attractions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that hospitals and schools need more attention from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. They are less noticeable, this does not mean they are less essential. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
both of them should
be invested
to develop.

An
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impressive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
can contribute to a city in several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, they bring benefits from tourism. When you visit any country, you notice the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
that stands out. Tourists who want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are willing to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. This brings income to local citizens.
Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
can hold large-scale significant functions or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
such as concerts, exhibitions.
Additionally
, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impressive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
can become a city’s icon.

On the other hand
, others say that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to waste
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on harmful things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will not influence
Possible spelling mistake found.
folklife
. It is better if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
services and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
facility numbers improving the quality of human life. The quality of human life depends on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
status and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
status.
For instance
,
firstly
, if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
folks are getting sick they will suffer and do not do the activity as usual to survive their life.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
it happens
automatically
they need a hospital where they can
be cured
.
Secondly
, the folk needs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
facility for studying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them smart as preparation to face the world and their future such as maintaining their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, looking for a job, educating their family, using the high technology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
.

In my conclusion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than identity.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
the characteristic can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a person healthy and educated.
For this reason
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it will be better if engineers construct every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
wisely
-include hospitals and schools. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impressive
and helpful for all sectors.
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IELTS essay Some People Think That Large, Impressive Buildings Are Important For A City. Others Believe That The Money Should Be Spent On Improving Schools And Hospitals. Discuss Both These Views And Give Your Own Opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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