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Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while some people think that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while some people think that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, a permanent job is more important. rqxk
Many people depate what should be done about choosing a job. Some people think that it is best to be satisfied in the job. However, other people think that job security is much more important. This is not an easy question to answer but in this essay we will look at this issue. Firstly, job satisfaction has a major aspect of life. If an employee is satisfied in his job he will be happier and more productive inside and outside his job. There is a study that sayhappier employees are 12 percent more productive than unhappy workers. In addition, this will also boost the employee motivation through the hole day and because of that he may make other workers feel more energized and happy to work. Furthermore, satisfied workers will never leave the company which means less turn over in order to this situation the name of the company will be bigger and popular. On the other hand, people think job security comes before job satisfaction. Most of the people that search for job security do this for two reasons. First reason, is that they want a stable monthly income to fortify their standers of living. Also he may have a dream or a goal that the person want to achive but he need money to achive it. The second reason, the employee want a long life time job so he can help his familiy for long period of time. In conclusion, in my opinion job satisfaction is more important to me because I like to work in an area that I can be productive in. However, job security is also need so you can be sure that you can get monthly income in your bank.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
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people
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depate
what should
be done
about choosing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is best to
be satisfied
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
However
, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
is much more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. This is not an easy question to answer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in this essay we will look at this issue.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction has a major aspect of life. If an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
is satisfied
in his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
he will be happier and more productive inside and outside his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. There is a study that
Possible spelling mistake found.
sayhappier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are 12 percent more productive than unhappy workers.
In addition
, this will
also
boost the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
motivation through the hole day and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that he may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
other workers feel more energized and happy to work.
Furthermore
, satisfied workers will never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
which means less turn over in order to this situation the name of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
will be bigger and popular.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that search for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
do this for two reasons.
First
reason, is that they want a stable monthly income to fortify their standers of living.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
he may have a dream or a goal that the person want to achive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he need money to
Possible spelling mistake found.
achive
it. The second reason, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
want a long
Did you mean "lifetime"?
life time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
his
Possible spelling mistake found.
familiy
for long period of time.
In conclusion
, in my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I like to work in an area that I can be productive in.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
is
also
Consider using a past participle here: "needed".
need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
you can be sure that you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
monthly income in your bank.
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If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while some people think that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, a permanent job is more important.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
286 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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