Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security. Others think that people cannot expect to enjoy a job and

Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security. Others think that people cannot expect to enjoy a job and 0YmO
Nowadays, our society has a variety fields of career for people to choose whether it is their satisfying job or not. Some people think that job satisfaction might be more important factors for them to choose their future careers instead of job security, while other people believe that permanent jobs is more important. In my opinion, I totally agree with the statement that doing satisfy job would have more benefit than working with more secure job. On the one hand, working with passion and interested would make people relaxing and enjoyable. Also, this might be affected to the employee performance, though. Moreover, employee who working with passionate not only be happy with their position but they also give companies better records. For instance, if white collars enjoy with their work, the company environments would fill with happiness and nice atmosphere. Unlike when people working in unfitted position or offices, their work’s environment would be stress and full of tension. On the other hand, sometimes working in stable position might be better because people want their life to be success and do not want to deal with risk. It is understandable, as nowadays our society has to face with unexpected things. For example, Covid-19, which no one have consider that our would face this pandemic, affects to all industries, especially in travel industry; hence, having a permanent and stable jobs would be better when people have to faced with problems. As a result, lots employees receive requested from their employer to asked if they want to quit from the companies, and this because lot industries now face with financial difficulties so reducing employee is their best solution. To sum up, enjoyable jobs might provide a lot of advantages to workers and the companies. However, people should manage their own risks in working with unstable jobs and have to considers carefully about their appropriate positions.
Nowadays, our society has a variety fields of career for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to choose whether it is their satisfying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
or not.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factors for them to choose their future careers
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
security, while other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that permanent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. In my opinion, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that doing satisfy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
would have more benefit than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
with more secure job.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
with passion and interested would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
relaxing and enjoyable.
Also
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
performance, though.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
with passionate not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be happy with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
better records.
For instance
, if white collars enjoy with their work, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
environments would fill with happiness and nice atmosphere. Unlike when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in unfitted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
or offices, their work’s environment would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and full of tension.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in stable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be better
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want their life to be success and do not want to deal with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
. It is understandable, as nowadays our society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
face with unexpected things.
For example
, Covid-19, which no one have
Use past participle here: "considered".
consider
that our would face this pandemic, affects to all industries,
especially
in travel industry;
hence
, having a permanent and stable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
would be better when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
faced with problems.
As a result
, lots
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
receive requested from their employer to asked if they want to quit from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
, and this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
lot industries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
face with financial difficulties
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
is their best solution.

To sum up, enjoyable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
advantages to workers and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should manage their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
with unstable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "consider".
considers
carefully
about their appropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security. Others think that people cannot expect to enjoy a job and

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security. Others think that people cannot expect to enjoy a job and