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Some people think that it would be better for large companies and industry to move to regional areas outside large urban centers. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that it would be better for large companies and industry to move to regional areas outside large urban centers. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? e9EV
It is important for a company to select the right location when establishing itself. While some people believe it is better for large companies and industries to relocate to regional areas, others believe they should remain in urban areas. I personally believe the former to have more benefits than the latter. To begin with, the disadvantage for a company being located in a regional area is the lack of available human resource required to run its operations. This is because regional areas usually have less people living per square kilometer compared to city centers. Therefore generally it is hard for a company to find talented people in such a handful population, which is essential for a company’s growth. Taking an example of Darwin, a regional area of Australia, where it is very challenging to find a Polymer Engineer as the total population of Darwin is just around 100, 000. This makes it difficult for an industry established there to fulfill their human resource needs. However, in my opinion there are many benefits which overcome the drawback for companies when they move from cities to regional areas. Firstly, the cost of land in a regional area is very low and for a company which could grow in the future, this could be the best financial decision as it will be cheaper for the company to expand its premises. In addition to this, it would be less harmful for the nearby environment and people. For instance, it would better to have a chemical factory, which tends to produce different harmful gases, in a regional area rather than in an urban center. This factory will effect fewer number of people in a remote area compared to the millions living in an urban area. In conclusion, even though there is a disadvantage for companies located outside urban centers such as scarce human resource, I think it is outweighed by the advantages. These benefits include the lower cost of land and fewer number of people being effected by pollution.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
to select the right location when establishing itself. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe it is better for large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and industries to relocate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, others believe they should remain in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. I
personally
believe the former to have more benefits than the latter.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the disadvantage for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
being located
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
is the lack of available human resource required to run its operations. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
usually
have
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun people is countable.
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living per square kilometer compared to city centers.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
generally
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
to find talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in such a handful population, which is essential for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company’s
growth. Taking an example of Darwin, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
of Australia, where it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
challenging to find a Polymer Engineer as the total population of Darwin is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
around 100, 000. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it difficult for an industry established there to fulfill their human resource needs.

However
, in my opinion there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits which overcome the drawback for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
from cities to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
Firstly
, the cost of land in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low and for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
which could grow in the future, this could be the best financial decision as it will be cheaper for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
to expand its premises.
In addition
to this, it would be less harmful for the nearby environment and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
, it would
Did you mean "be better"?
better
to have a chemical factory, which tends to produce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
harmful gases, in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
rather
than in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
center. This factory will
Did you mean "affect"?
effect
fewer number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in a remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
compared to the millions living in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
area.

In conclusion
,
even though
there is a disadvantage for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
located outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
centers such as scarce human resource, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it
is outweighed
by the advantages. These benefits include the lower cost of land and fewer number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
being effected
by pollution.
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IELTS essay Some people think that it would be better for large companies and industry to move to regional areas outside large urban centers. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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