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Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behavior. What is your opinion?

Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behavior. What is your opinion? Bxwp
There is a contentious argument over whether the content aired on TV as well as video games have a violent damaging impact on communities and nations' behavior. From my point of view, I strongly agree with this statement due to various reasons. Firstly, most TV shows and movies normalize the idea of committing crimes. Secondly, playing video games enhances the players' competitivity level, leading to anger. The most important reason why I believe that mankinds' behavior may differ is due to how TV shows producers usually normalize the idea of committing a crime, as well as spreading incorrect information regarding the law. which may cause people to commit crimes thinking that they will be able to get away with murder. To elaborate, most of the time they show the murder escaped from the prison or escaped from the country illegally. which doesn't happen in real life. Another reason why I support this notion is that most of the games kids, teenagers, and adults are playing are based on winning. Players would do anything in order to win. To elucidate, we have seen a lot of videos of players getting angry and breaking things from around them just because they lost in the game. To put it concisely, I strongly agree that what we watch or interact with might have an effect and impact on our behavior. Which may lead to behavior influence starting from anger leading to crimes in some cases. Given this situation, it seems that we must be more careful about what content are we and our young children are watching or playing.
There is a contentious argument over whether the content aired on TV
as well
as video games have a violent damaging impact on communities and nations'
behavior
. From my point of view, I
strongly
agree
with this statement due to various reasons.
Firstly
, most TV
shows
and movies normalize the
idea
of committing
crimes
.
Secondly
, playing video games enhances the players'
competitivity
level, leading to anger.

The most
important
reason why I believe that
mankinds
'
behavior
may differ is due to how TV
shows
producers
usually
normalize the
idea
of committing a
crime
,
as well
as spreading incorrect information regarding the law.
which
may cause
people
to commit
crimes
thinking that they will be able to
get
away with murder. To elaborate, most of the time they
show
the murder escaped from the prison or escaped from the country
illegally
.
which
doesn't happen in real life.

Another reason why I support this notion is that most of the games kids,
teenagers
, and adults are playing
are based
on winning. Players would do anything in order to win. To elucidate, we have
seen
a lot of
videos of players getting angry and breaking things from around them
just
because
they lost in the game.

To put it
concisely
, I
strongly
agree
that what we
watch
or interact with might have an effect and impact on our
behavior
.
Which
may lead to
behavior
influence starting from anger leading to
crimes
in
some
cases.
Given
this situation, it seems that we
must
be more careful about what content are we and our young children are watching or playing.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behavior. What is your opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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