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Some people think that it would be better for large companies and industry to move to regional area outside large urban centres. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Some people think that it would be better for large companies and industry to move to regional area outside large urban centres. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. QYQP
In this contemporary epoch, industrial and companies build constantly everywhere either in cities or sub-centres. The company or industry which shuffle to the rural areas have more merits for the environment and unemployment, but minor drawbacks are also exist. The most significant benefit for the corporation and association is that the enough space for the disposal of their waste which paves out in the reduction of air, noise, water pollution without disturbing the environment equillibrium. Another pros are development of factories and enterprises in remote areas provides an opportunity to the local people result in the poverty eradication. For instance, as per recent reseach by Time, 80% of the companies seeking for the local employee which is a drast change in the field of an unemployment. Consequently, enterprenuers flourish the environment condition as well as diminish the worklessness. On the flip side, there are some demerits of industrialization and major companies in the rural areas. The foremost one is availability of transport facilities, resources, raw materials are less in the regional areas so-that production is affected during the initial phase. Secondly, consumer base mostly affected the economic crisis of comapnies and industries because of less consumer base in the rural areas as compared to the urban areas To illustrate, a recent survey revealed that, most of the companies suffered from several ups and down in marketing area as a result of the lack availability of facilities. Henceforth, in remote areas the factories and associations face the changes in financial status. To conclude, although few cons of development of industries and large companies in rural areas affect the revenue in the first stage, but the merits diminishes the worklessness or aid to reduces the pollution which is significantly more crucial than the less advantage in the income at first level.
In this contemporary epoch, industrial and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
build
constantly
everywhere either in cities or
Possible spelling mistake found.
sub-centres
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
or industry which shuffle to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
have more merits for the environment and unemployment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
minor drawbacks are
also
Consider using a past participle here: "existed".
exist
.

The most significant benefit for the corporation and association is that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
space for the disposal of their waste which paves out in the reduction of air, noise, water pollution without disturbing the environment
Possible spelling mistake found.
equillibrium
. Another pros are development of factories and enterprises in remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
provides an opportunity to the local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
result in the poverty eradication.
For instance
, as per recent
Possible spelling mistake found.
reseach
by Time, 80% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
seeking for the local employee which is a
Possible spelling mistake found.
drast
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the field of an unemployment.
Consequently
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
enterprenuers
flourish the environment condition
as well
as diminish the
Possible spelling mistake found.
worklessness
.

On the flip side, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
demerits of industrialization and major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. The foremost one is availability of transport facilities, resources, raw materials are less in the regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
-that production is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
during the initial phase.
Secondly
, consumer base
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the economic crisis of
Possible spelling mistake found.
comapnies
and industries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of less consumer base in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
as compared to the urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
To illustrate, a recent survey revealed that, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
suffered from several ups and down in marketing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
as a result
of the lack availability of facilities. Henceforth, in remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
the factories and associations face the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in financial status.

To conclude
, although few cons of development of industries and large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
affect the revenue in the
first
stage,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the merits diminishes the
Possible spelling mistake found.
worklessness
or aid to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the pollution which is
significantly
more crucial than the less advantage in the income at
first
level.
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IELTS essay Some people think that it would be better for large companies and industry to move to regional area outside large urban centres. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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