Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that it is important to educate adults who can not read and write, while others argue that education of young generation is more essential. Discuss both of view and give your opinion.

Some people think that it is important to educate adults who can not read and write, while others argue that education of young generation is more essential. 3029N
It is true that some adults are unable to read and write, needing a special educational programme. While I accept that education for these adults is very important, I would argue that we should put more emphasis on educating young people. There are several reasons that illiterate education is necessary. Firstly, education gives them knowledge and skills which are able to have more opportunities for adults to find great jobs. People without qualifications might hardly find jobs outside manual labor such as construction worker, carpenter or housekeeper. Secondly, training programs can raise their awareness of laws or issues of society, so that the rate of crime offenses involved in ignorance will be declined. Moreover, the life of the whole society will be improved and developed. In addition, governments can save the money spent on the assistance of adults. On the other hand, I believe that it is important to educate the young generation. The main reason associated with this is that young people are the future of this planet who will take a huge burden by building a country, thus well-educated them will have a good community and a wealthy country in the future. Another reason is that the risk of having adults without literacy and numeracy will be prevented by educating our future. If young children are not well-educated, their mental and behavioural development will be significantly affected. Therefore, they can get social evil such as drug addiction, sexual harassment, teen pregnancy or exploitative child labor, so education programs will help to decrease child crimes and improve the quality of life. In conclusion, although it is necessary to educate illiterates, in my opinion, teaching the younger generation is more important.
It is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
are unable to read and write, needing a special educational
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
. While I accept that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, I would argue that we should put more emphasis on educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

There are several reasons that illiterate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is necessary.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
gives them knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which are able to have more opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
to find great jobs.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
without qualifications might hardly find jobs outside manual labor such as construction worker, carpenter or housekeeper.
Secondly
, training programs can raise their awareness of laws or issues of society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the rate of crime offenses involved in ignorance will
be declined
.
Moreover
, the life of the whole society will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
and developed.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
can save the money spent on the assistance of adults.

On the other hand
, I believe that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to educate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation. The main reason associated with this is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are the future of this planet who will take a huge burden by building a country,
thus
well-educated them will have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
community and a wealthy country in the future. Another reason is that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
without literacy and numeracy will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
by educating our future. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
children are not well-educated, their mental and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behavioural' is British English.
behavioural
development will be
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
.
Therefore
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
social evil such as drug addiction, sexual harassment, teen pregnancy or exploitative child labor,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
programs will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to decrease child crimes and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of life.

In conclusion
, although it is necessary to educate illiterates, in my opinion, teaching the younger generation is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people think that it is important to educate adults who can not read and write, while others argue that education of young generation is more essential.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 6band
    Foreign freehold in Thailand
    What will be changed after foreign freehold is conceded by the new royal in Thai society? Although it is obviously seen that freehold could be beneficial to the ownership and country, there are several drawbacks too. This essay will examine the advantages and disadvantages of freehold and provide a ...
  • 6band
    The Pursuit of Gender Equality. An Uphill Battle
    Women’s labour force participation rates have moved closer to men’s rates over the past few decades, but in every OECD country women are still less likely than men to engage in paid work. When women do work, they are more likely to do it on a part-time basis, are less likely to advance to management...
  • 5band
    What skill is crucial to have in life
    Self-adaptation is a crucial skill to have, especially in today's rapidly changing society. Individuals must not only constantly adapt to new environments, innovations, but people in new communities as well. I believe that the key to self-adaptation is being open-minded, and flexible. For example, e...
  • 5band
    pros and cons of televison
    The passage presents the pros and cons of televisions. Firstly, television is a fast and convenient way to follow the news from all the corners of the world. Secondly, due to early television exposure, children in this day and age have better grasp of language. At such young age, most of them are un...
  • 5.5band
    Personal Statement UK Bristol
    In the past two years, the pandemic has had a complex impact on many aspects of global industry. My reminiscent childhood dream came up with a question, “Is this a challenge to come up with a solution which could help with the current unprecedented phenomena? How has the pandemic changed the individ...
  • 5band
    Would you rather never use social media sites or apps again or never watch another film or TV series? Explain your choice.
    I would rather never watch television films than not being able to use social media sites and applications. Over the past couple of months, despite having to use a mobile phone throughout the day, I could scarcely recall any names of films and movies. While on the other hand, I never took even a sin...





Get more results for topic:
  • Some people think that it is important to educate adults who can not read and write, while others argue that education of young generation is more essential. Discuss both of view and give your opinion.