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Some people think that it is better for children to grow up in the city, while others think that life in the countryside is more suitable. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both places? v.2

Some people think that it is better for children to grow up in the city, while others think that life in the countryside is more suitable. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both places? v. 2
Many people believe that it is advantageous for kids to grow up in cities, whereas others argue that the countryside is better. This essay will highlight both the benefits and drawbacks of living in a city and the countryside. Looking firstly at the cities, one significant advantage is that the schools in the cities are better than those in the rural areas. For example, schools in towns usually recruit professionally trained teachers and also depend on the latest technologies for teaching. This can help them to get a quality education, which can help them to develop their skills. However, cities also present some disadvantages, one obvious problem is pollution. It can cause several illnesses in children, such as asthma. Making matters worse, asthma can lead to further serious conditions like pneumonia. On the other hand, the countryside provides the benefit of enjoying the fresh air, as they have fewer industries that are responsible for polluting environment in cities. Children can benefit from this as they are less prone to illnesses. For instance, diseases caused by pollution in villages in 70% less compared to the towns. Nevertheless, the schools in the villages tend be not as good as that in cities. Institutions with countryside lack resources, such as technology. To clarify, about 50% of institutions in the city of Hyderabad are using digital classrooms while the figure is only 5% in the rural areas. In conclusion, towns and countrysides have their advantages and disadvantages, and it is important to take both into consideration. Although cities lack in terms of air quality compared to the countryside, they are known for their excellent education system which cannot be seen in villages.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that it is advantageous for kids to grow up in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, whereas others argue that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
is better. This essay will highlight both the benefits and drawbacks of living in a city and the countryside.

Looking
firstly
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, one significant advantage is that the schools in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are better than those in the rural areas.
For example
, schools in towns
usually
recruit
professionally
trained teachers and
also
depend on the latest technologies for teaching. This can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a quality education, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to develop their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
also
present
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages, one obvious problem is pollution. It can cause several illnesses in children, such as asthma. Making matters worse, asthma can lead to
further
serious conditions like pneumonia.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
provides the benefit of enjoying the fresh air, as they have fewer industries that are responsible for polluting environment in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. Children can benefit from this as they are less prone to illnesses.
For instance
, diseases caused by pollution in villages in 70% less compared to the towns.
Nevertheless
, the schools in the villages tend be not as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
as that in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. Institutions with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
lack resources, such as technology. To clarify, about 50% of institutions in the city of Hyderabad are using digital classrooms while the figure is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
5% in the rural areas.

In conclusion
, towns and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countrysides
have their advantages and disadvantages, and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to take both into consideration. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
lack in terms of air quality compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
, they
are known
for their excellent education system which cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in villages.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Some people think that it is better for children to grow up in the city, while others think that life in the countryside is more suitable. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both places? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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