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Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion 7kjX
In today’s society, are we more dependent on each other or more independent? This is an interesting question. While some people believe that we have become more and more reliant on others, I would argue that the advances in science and technology have made us more self-reliant. In the view of some people, the increased number of complicated tasks and projects in the modern world often requires collaboration between people. For example, making a car is not something that can be done by one or a few persons. It needs a group of people working collaboratively on the assembly line. It is impossible for one person to develop a sophisticated online database for a bank or a government department. It must be broken down into small tasks and done through teamwork. Therefore, we are more reliant on each other nowadays. In my view, I would argue that, on the contrary, people are more independent due to the advances in science and technology. The invention of household tools such as washing machines, dishwashers, and robot vacuums makes our lives much easier and less dependent on others. Instead of asking another family member to wash the dishes, you can throw them into a washing machine, and then do your schoolwork or enjoy the time with your kids. Moreover, with the internet, we can also search online for all kinds of information related to work, school, or daily life, while in the old days we had to go around to ask other people. Also, with the internet, people now can shop online and buy products from all over the world with just a few mouse clicks. This is especially convenient for seniors who have mobility problems. As a result, they don’t have to rely on their family members to buy stuff such as household items and groceries for them. In conclusion, I agree with the notion that we are more self-reliant in the modern world due to the development of new technologies.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s society, are we more dependent on each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
or more independent? This is an interesting question. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that we have become more and more reliant on others, I would argue that the advances in science and technology have made us more self-reliant.

In the view of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, the increased number of complicated tasks and projects in the modern world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
requires collaboration between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, making a car is not something that can
be done
by one or a few persons. It needs a group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
working
collaboratively
on the assembly line. It is impossible for one person to develop a sophisticated online database for a bank or a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
department.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be broken
down into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
tasks and done through teamwork.
Therefore
, we are more reliant on each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nowadays.

In my view, I would argue that,
on the contrary
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more independent due to the advances in science and technology. The invention of household tools such as washing machines, dishwashers, and robot vacuums
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
much easier and less dependent on others.
Instead
of asking another family member to wash the dishes, you can throw them into a washing machine, and then do your schoolwork or enjoy the time with your kids.
Moreover
, with the internet, we can
also
search online for all kinds of information related to work, school, or daily life, while in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
days we had to go around to ask
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Also
, with the internet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
can shop online and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
products from all over the world with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a few mouse clicks. This is
especially
convenient for seniors who have mobility problems.
As a result
, they don’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
rely on their family members to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
stuff such as household items and groceries for them.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the notion that we are more self-reliant in the modern world due to the development of new technologies.
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IELTS essay Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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