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Some people think that in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should make efforts in reducing environmental pollutions and housing problems. To what extent do you agree to disagree with this statement?

In recent years, the outbreak of rare and new diseases has been preying on the minds of millions of people in the world. Some suggest that the only way to win the battle against illness and disease is to improve the environmental conditions and solve housing problems. As far as I am concerned, I am on the same wavelength with them on this matter. It is no exaggeration to say that today the environmental pollution has reached its peak and its effects on human, animals and vegetation alike can be grave and irreparable. With each passing minute, hundreds of lives are claimed in the world and their reasons for death are from people‟s daily activities –those related to the degradation of the environment. For instance, farmers today are no stranger to the practice of overdosing the farmlands with pesticides and insecticides. Besides, countless factories are poisoning the water with toxic refuse and environmentally unfriendly chemicals. Apparently, if efforts are made in stopping these activities, many people would be saved from unnecessary diseases. In addition to this, I feel that in order to combat disease, housing problems should be appropriately addressed; especially in metropolitan areas where accommodation is scarce and people are plentiful. Homeless people who are forced to live in the gutter or in small sewage-ridden, iron sheds on the streets are carrying diseases that are highly infectious. For this reason, they should be provided with sanitary places where they can live so as not to affect the lives of other people. To conclude, it is my belief that most modern plagues can be prevented if the governments are willing to take the bull by the horns, to introduce and enforce appropriate measures in handling this situation. I hope that future generation enjoys life with no disease.
In recent years, the outbreak of rare and new
diseases
has been preying on the minds of millions of
people
in the world.
Some
suggest that the
only
way to win the battle against illness and
disease
is to
improve
the environmental conditions and solve housing problems. As far as I
am concerned
, I am on the same wavelength with them on this matter. It is no exaggeration to say that
today
the environmental pollution has reached its peak and its effects on human, animals and vegetation alike can be grave and irreparable. With each passing minute, hundreds of
lives
are claimed
in the world and their reasons for death are from
people‟s
daily activities –those related to the degradation of the environment.
For instance
, farmers
today
are no stranger to the practice of overdosing the farmlands with pesticides and insecticides.
Besides
, countless factories are poisoning the water with toxic refuse and
environmentally
unfriendly
chemicals.
Apparently
, if efforts
are made
in stopping these activities,
many
people
would
be saved
from unnecessary
diseases
.
In addition
to this, I feel that in order to combat
disease
, housing problems should be
appropriately
addressed;
especially
in metropolitan areas where accommodation is scarce and
people
are plentiful. Homeless
people
who
are forced
to
live
in the gutter or in
small
sewage-ridden, iron sheds on the streets are carrying
diseases
that are
highly
infectious.
For this reason
, they should
be provided
with sanitary places where they can
live
so
as not to affect the
lives
of other
people
.
To conclude
, it is my belief that most modern plagues can be
prevented
if the
governments
are willing to take the bull by the horns, to introduce and enforce appropriate measures in handling this situation. I hope that future generation enjoys life with no
disease
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should make efforts in reducing environmental pollutions and housing problems.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
297 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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