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More and more people are moving away from an agricultural background to relocate to cities in order to look for work. What will be the consequences of this? What solutions can you offer?

It is an increasing trend that many people with impoverish backgrounds migrate to large cities for career development. What will this situation bring? In my opinion, several negative consequences can be foreseen. Meanwhile, local governments and corporations should be able to offer solutions. Relocating from agricultural areas to prospective cities contributes to negative impacts on individuals and society. Firstly, people with impoverish backgrounds will experience additional financial burdens. As rents and foods are more expensive in cities, people who migrate to large cities have to spend more money on essential foods and accommodations. Besides, the gap between suburb areas and cities will be escalated. Since more inhabitants relocate to cities for works, there will be decreasing employees in remote areas. Due to lack of ample personnel, businesses cannot operate efficiently and will then choose to reduce stores. In contrast, if work labours merge to large cities, more workers boom local companies’ productivities and profits. It is no doubt that local governments and corporations can take action to tackle the above issues. To lessen the additional financial burdens, relevant financial subsidies from governments should be offered. If residents from agricultural backgrounds receive financial aid, they can utilize the financial resource to cover expenditures in foods and accommodations. Moreover, companies should consider moving offices to remote areas. By offering positions in suburb places, job seekers have an alternative way to embark on careers in their hometowns. Therefore, residents do not have to seek career developments in big cities. In conclusion, relocating from developing areas to cities can result in individuals’ financial onuses and an imbalance in society. Nevertheless, local governments and corporations should take the above actions to tackle the consequences.
It is an increasing trend that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with impoverish backgrounds migrate to large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
for career development. What will this situation bring? In my opinion, several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences can be foreseen. Meanwhile,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and corporations should be able to offer solutions.

Relocating from agricultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
to prospective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
contributes to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on individuals and society.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with impoverish backgrounds will experience additional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
burdens. As rents and foods are more expensive in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who migrate to large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend more money on essential foods and accommodations.
Besides
, the gap between suburb
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
will
be escalated
. Since more inhabitants relocate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
for works, there will be decreasing employees in remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. Due to lack of ample personnel, businesses cannot operate
efficiently
and will then choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
stores.
In contrast
, if work
Possible spelling mistake. ‘labours’ is British English.
labours
merge to large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, more workers boom
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
’
Possible spelling mistake found.
productivities
and profits.

It is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and corporations can take action to tackle the above issues. To lessen the additional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
burdens, relevant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
subsidies from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should
be offered
. If residents from agricultural backgrounds receive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
aid, they can utilize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
resource to cover expenditures in foods and accommodations.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
should consider moving offices to remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. By offering positions in suburb places, job seekers have an alternative way to embark on careers in their hometowns.
Therefore
, residents do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
seek career developments in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities.

In conclusion
, relocating from developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
can result in individuals’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
onuses and an imbalance in society.
Nevertheless
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and corporations should take the above actions to tackle the consequences.
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IELTS essay More and more people are moving away from an agricultural background to relocate to cities in order to look for work. What will be the consequences of this? What solutions can you offer?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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