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Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country, while some people think it is bad. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

In today's modern age, international sports event has become eminent across the world. Infact many developing nations are taking part for conducting such kind of events. Few people have a thought that organizing international events is beneficial for the country, however some people have different perspective about it. I believe that arranging such sports event at a global level has its own advantages. In this essay, we shall delve into the details and juxtapose both sides of the arguments. To commence with, there are many advantages of introducing such events, although its majorly help in the economic growth of the countries. Due to hosting this events the number of tourism will increase tremendously which will bring foreign currencies and this will indirectly boost the GDP of that country. For instance, few years back India hosted the Asian games and that had supported India to make a immense profit interms of there economy. That is why, it has now become a trend and a competitive market too, because many countries are willing to organize sports event in there territory. On the other hand, some people have the mindset that to organize such events, one has to spend spend a huge amount of money towards it, instead this amount can be used for the other purpose which can benefits them in the long-run. For example, developing nations should focus on improving there infrastructure and medical health care as well as to provide basic necessities such as food, clothing and shelter to every individual, rather than building there focus on such events. Thus, holding worldwide events are not superior for the developing countries they should be more concentrate on the essential commodities and supply for their people. To summarize, even though multinational sports event are trending and have a superior profit margin for the nations who conduct it, However the amount of expenditure the countries has to spend cannot be neglected.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's modern age, international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
has become eminent across the world.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Infact
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
developing nations are taking part for conducting such kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
. Few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that organizing international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
is beneficial for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
however
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
perspective about it. I believe that arranging such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
at a global level has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantages. In this essay, we shall delve into the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
and juxtapose both sides of the arguments.

To commence with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages of introducing such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
, although its
majorly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in the economic growth of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Due to hosting
‘This’ does not seem to match the plural noun ‘events’. Did you mean “these”?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
the number of tourism will increase
tremendously
which will bring foreign currencies and this will
indirectly
boost the GDP of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For instance
, few years back India hosted the Asian games and that had supported India to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
Use “an” instead of ‘a’ if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. ‘an article’, ‘an hour’.
a
immense profit
Possible spelling mistake found.
interms
of there economy.
That is
why, it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
become a trend and a competitive market too,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are willing to organize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
in there territory.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have the mindset that to organize such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
, one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
Possible typo: you repeated a word
spend spend
a huge amount of money towards it,
instead
this amount can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the other purpose which can benefits them in the long-run.
For example
, developing nations should focus on improving there infrastructure and medical health care
as well
as to provide
Consider using “necessities”.
basic necessities
such as food, clothing and shelter to every individual,
rather
than building there focus on such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
.
Thus
, holding worldwide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
are not superior for the developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
they should be more concentrate on the essential commodities and supply for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To summarize
,
even though
multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
are trending and have a superior profit margin for the nations who conduct it,
However
the amount of expenditure the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
spend cannot
be neglected
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country, while some people think it is bad.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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