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Some people think that having old people in society is a problem as they are completely dependent on their children while others believe that having senior citizen around adds value to the family. Discuss both these views and give you opinion.

Some people think that having old people in society is a problem as they are completely dependent on their children while others believe that having senior citizen around adds value to the family. dDWEP
Old people have been respected members in the society. In this context, there are some people who believe that old people is an issue in society as they are fully dependent on their children while others think that senior citizens are important as they add value to the family. I will discuss both the views in the subsequent fragments along with my opinion and a plausible conclusion. To commence with, there are many reasons for people who think old people in society is a big problem. First and foremost is, old people do not earn anything as they do not work. Since aging population is not earning so they always depend on their children for every basic need such as clothes, shelter and food. In order to complete their needs their children have to work even more harder since they have their family too for which they are also responsible. As a result, they start thinking their elders as a burden in the family. Secondly, old people always want love and care. Since nowadays majority of the parents are working they do not have enough time to take care there older people. They are not able to maintain their work and life simultaneously. In turn, they start ignoring them and find it hard to spend time with aging population. On the other side, there are many reasons why some people think old people adds value to the family. Firstly, old generation teaches moral values to their grand children since in the modern era both the parents are working so they do not have enough time to take care of their kids. Old people always take care of their grandparents. Not only they give them values about loyality, punctuality and morality but also keep an eye on their friend circle as they do not get into nad habits. As a consequences, they are responsible to provide good teachings to kids. Lastly, old population helps to make people responsible. Since old people are most of the time free so they always engage them in the free community work in order to enhance the standard of other people. For example, in the developed countries, old people always engage themselves to provide food and shelter to needy people in their neighborhood. So they also encourage the youth to do more good work for everyone. To conclude, after discussing both the views. I strongly agree with the latter view as old generation set good example to upcoming generation by their good work.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
been respected
members in the society. In this context, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
an issue in society as they are
fully
dependent on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that senior citizens are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. I will discuss both the views in the subsequent fragments along with my opinion and a plausible conclusion.

To commence with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in society is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
problem.
First
and foremost is,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not earn anything as they do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. Since aging population is not earning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they always depend on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for every basic need such as clothes, shelter and food. In order to complete their needs their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
even
Use only "harder" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more harder
since they have their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
too for which they are
also
responsible.
As a result
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
thinking their elders as a burden in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always want
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
.
“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
nowadays
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
the parents are working they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
there older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. They are not able to maintain their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and life
simultaneously
. In turn, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
ignoring them and find it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with aging population.

On the other side, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
adds
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
generation teaches moral values to their grand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
since in the modern era both the parents are working
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their kids.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their grandparents. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
they give them values about
Possible spelling mistake found.
loyality
, punctuality and morality
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
an eye on their friend circle as they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into
Possible spelling mistake found.
nad
habits. As
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a consequence" or simply "consequences"?
a consequences
, they are responsible to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
teachings to kids.
Lastly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
population
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
responsible. Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
free
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they always engage them in the free community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in order to enhance the standard of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always engage themselves to provide food and shelter to needy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in their neighborhood.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they
also
encourage the youth to do more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for everyone.

To conclude
, after discussing both the views. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the latter view as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
generation set
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
example to upcoming generation by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that having old people in society is a problem as they are completely dependent on their children while others believe that having senior citizen around adds value to the family.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
417 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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